The Bardo Instructions
Traditionally, Tibetans rely on the bardo instructions that
appear in Karma Lingpa’s Great Liberation through Hearing in
the Bardo, the Bardo Tödrol Chenmo. The instructions you will
find in the following pages are a simplified version of that text.
Although Great Liberation through Hearing in the Bardo was
originally written for Buddhists, just because a person is neither a
Buddhist nor spiritual doesn’t mean they are not qualified to hear
the bardo instructions. Giving an atheist or agnostic refuge and
bodhichitta when they are dead and in the bardo of becoming will
plant the seed for them to become Dharma practitioners in their
future lives.
When you die yourself, ask someone else to read these
instructions for you, as a reminder.
.
Dharmakaya
Be brave, direct and honest with the dying person about what is
happening and always tell the truth.
Speak clearly but kindly and in a soothing, melodic tone of
voice. Don’t cough or sound bored or read in a dull monotone.
And say om mani padme hum after each verse to make this activity
worthwhile – or the Chinese namo guan shi yin pusa; or the
Japanese, on arorikya sowaka; or the Thai, buddho.
In the classic Buddhist texts, the phrase ‘son of a noble family’
or ‘daughter of a noble family’ is used to indicate that each one of
us belongs to the family of the Buddha and that we have buddha
nature. The dying person is therefore a child of the Buddha,
whether they practise Buddhism or not.
Always make sure you say the dying person’s name out loud – for
example, John Smith – before you start reciting the instructions,
because identity is very important to us human beings.
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of the dying person],
You are dying.
The projection called ‘this life’ is about to end,
And the projection called ‘the next life’ is about to begin.
You will soon discard the shell of your old body,
And acquire a new one.
om mani padme hum
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of the dying person]
Whatever you are currently thinking will pass,
It may already be fading.
Soon you will think a new thought.
om mani padme hum
Your air element, your vital energy, is now dissolving.
Your digestion is deteriorating.
Your mind is becoming vague and confused.
You are losing control of your bowels, and
Saliva is dripping from your lips.
You are having difficulty swallowing.
Your limbs feel weak and don’t function.
om mani padme hum
The dissolution of the air element
Causes the earth element to fall apart.
Your head is too heavy for your neck to support;
Every movement is a struggle,
You are too weak to hold a spoon.
You feel dull, as if you are being suffocated;
You push and kick at something that seems to be
smothering you.
You may see a flickering, mirage-like light.
om mani padme hum
The degeneration of the earth element leads to
The water element dissolving into the fire element.
You feel dry;
Your tongue rolls up.
om mani padme hum
The following lines are a gentle way of telling the person they
are dying.
Is your body feeling heavy?
The earth element in your body
Is dissolving into the water element.
om mani padme hum
Are you feeling dry and dehydrated?
The water element is dissolving into the fire element.
om mani padme hum
Are you shivering? Do you feel cold? The fire element is
dissolving into the air element.
om mani padme hum
Your breathing will soon become laboured;
As the weight of a mountain lands on your chest,
It will be harder to breathe in
But you will still be able to breathe out.
Do not panic,
There is nothing pressing down on you.
That heavy weight is the disintegration of your body’s elements.
om mani padme hum
Next, it’s as if you are wrapped in darkness.
Everything is pitch black.
Do not panic.
Your outer sense consciousness –
Your eyes, ears, nose, and so on – is dissolving.
om mani padme hum
You feel you are falling from a great height.
Do not panic,
You are not falling through space.
Your body and your mind are gradually separating.
Now, for the first time ever,
Your mind will experience independence from your body.
This is what your mind feels like
When it is not confined by your body.
om mani padme hum
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dying person],
Do not dwell on what you have failed to achieve this lifetime,
Or what you wish you had done;
There is no end to worldly endeavour.
om mani padme hum
Do not worry about relatives and friends, they will be fine.
And anyway, there is nothing you can do for them.
Do not think about your possessions;
Do not think about how much you will miss your life
Your houses, cars, phone chargers, USB sticks, and so on.
om mani padme hum
Soon you will experience rainbow-coloured lights.
These lights will appear suddenly, so remember:
They are the nothing more than the hue,
The display,
The expression of your mind.
om mani padme hum
What you say at this point will depend on which teachings the
dying person has received. If the dying person has been introduced
to the three kayas of the Mahasandhi tradition, rather than saying
‘the expression of your mind’, say, ‘the expression of the three
kayas’. If they haven’t been introduced to the three kayas, don’t
confuse them by using terms they will not understand. Instead,
just say, ‘your mind’.
The infinite rainbow-like colours and shapes that now
surround you
Are unlike anything you have ever seen before.
The blueness of the blue,
The greenness of the green,
The redness of the red
Are unimaginably intense and alive.
Because you are no longer limited by the filter of your eyes
You are able to perceive all the unnamed colours
That were invisible to you while you were alive.
om mani padme hum
You can see some familiar shapes,
Like squares, triangles and semi-circles,
But most are completely unfamiliar to you;
You never imagined that such shapes exist.
om mani padme hum
Everything feels intense and raw
Because you no longer perceive
Using the filters of your body’s sense organs,
Or your imagination.
There is nothing between you and the object you
are experiencing.
om mani padme hum
Do not be afraid of the colours and shapes,
Or of how intensely you perceive them.
They are nothing more than the expression of your mind
(the three kayas).
Nothing you see and experience is ‘out there’,
It is all the radiant display of mind.
om mani padme hum
Do not be afraid.
There is no need to panic.
You will now faint.
O, Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dying person],
This is the Buddha!
O, Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dying person],
This is the Buddha!
O, Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dying person],
This is the Buddha!
om mani padme hum
Do not be afraid!
Do not contrive!
This is the Buddha;
This is the real you!
You are not [name of dying person].
You are Buddha,
Face it!
Dwell in your true nature!
You are Buddha,
Do not shy away from your buddha nature!
This is it!
Do not try to run away from this state!
Relax and dwell right here.
om mani padme hum
For those of us who are still living – so-called ‘living beings’ –
this state is labelled ‘the moment of death’. In the human realm,
the dying person is now considered to be dead.
As you read these instructions to your dying friend or loved
one, they may not look as you expect them to look. But as it is
unlikely that you will be able to tell which stage of death they are
going through – their lips may not be dry, their skin may not be
pale, and so on – don’t try to analyze or predict where they are
in the process; unless you are omniscient, you won’t be able to.
The best thing you can do is follow these instructions, which will
definitely help.
Repeat this text for one, two or three hours, the whole night,
or twenty-four hours. If there is a group of you, take turns, so that
there is always someone with the dying or dead person throughout
a -hour period. Alternate between chanting om mani padme hum
( or , mantras at a time) and reading the instructions.
Remember always to speak lovingly, from a compassionate
heart overflowing with bodhichitta.
If you know the practice of considering yourself as a deity, feel
confident as you read these instructions that you are Vajrasattva or
Samantabhadra or Guru Rinpoche, Padmasambhava, or Amitabha.
. The Luminous Bardo of Dharmata
Sambhogakaya
Having repeated the dharmakaya instructions for a full day,
you now give the dead person some new information. Again, these
instructions should be repeated as many times as possible.
You may find that in your country, the law stipulates that a
corpse must be cremated immediately after death – this is true for
many places in the modern world. Don’t worry, a good alternative
to sitting next to the corpse is to sit in the dead person’s favourite
place – their bedroom, sitting room, studio, garden or wherever.
If that is not possible, sit next to one of the dead person’s favourite
things. And if none of this is possible, just call them by name.
For Buddhists, the body is just a vessel for the mind – like a
cup – so if you can, continue to recite these instructions even after
the person’s body has been cremated.
Yesterday, Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dead person],
You were unable to dwell in the pure, uncontrived Buddha state,
And you missed your chance for liberation.
The uncontrived Buddha state was so unfamiliar and
so unbearable that you fainted.
om mani padme hum
You have now recovered from your faint.
Everything you are experiencing terrifies you.
Violent fury rages,
As sharp, angular shapes and symbols surround you, and
Wrathful figures and tumultuous sounds fill your perception.
Never before have you seen or heard anything like it.
om mani padme hum
Grotesque figures with many heads and flaming faces
Fill all of space.
A strange and thunderous cacophony deafens you;
Like a mighty hail storm,
Sharp needles of light pierce the space around you.
om mani padme hum
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dead person],
Do not be afraid!
This is the radiance, the display, the dance,
The ebb and flow of the same Buddha
That your mind experienced at the moment of death.
You are afraid because the experience is so alien.
This has never happened to you before,
So of course you are afraid.
Try to remember: this is the nature of your mind.
This is the Buddha.
om mani padme hum
At this stage, the bardo being will most likely faint.
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dead person],
Once again, you have missed your chance for liberation.
Not recognizing the wrathful forms
As the display of your own buddha nature,
You fainted.
om mani padme hum
You have now recovered,
And the infinite rainbow-like colours, sounds and shapes
You are experiencing are peaceful and soothing,
Like the calm after a storm.
The light is dazzlingly bright.
And you think you have a form, a ‘body’.
om mani padme hum
Rainbow-coloured spheres of light fill all of space.
A buddha sits in each light-sphere surrounded by bodhisattvas.
From the hearts of these sublime beings,
Threads of light shoot into your heart.
om mani padme hum
All the new shapes you see seem familiar.
Remember,
Everything you experience
Is the display of your own mind.
om mani padme hum
Do not feel shy of these figures;
They are just your mind.
Do not be afraid of these figures;
Trust that your mind is creating what you see.
THE BARDO INSTRUCTIONS
om mani padme hum
Some figures are neither bright nor spectacular.
Their soft, subdued tones attract you,
And you are drawn to their mellow calm.
They are more welcoming than the wrathful, sharp brilliance.
om mani padme hum
Do not allow these gentler images to deceive you!
Do not cosy up to them!
If you do, they will quickly mature
Into all your familiar negative emotions,
Like anger, jealousy and greed.
You are attracted to these softer images
Simply because you know the emotions so well.
om mani padme hum
Most of us prefer to stick to what we are used to. Although
the emotions we habitually experience can be agonizingly painful,
they are also comfortingly familiar. More often than not, we
would rather experience the pain we know than nothing at all –
mind is so masochistic. This is why the ‘referencelessness’ we
experience once our bodies are dead is so unbearable.
Our emotions make us feel; we feel alive, we feel we exist, and
we feel that we are feel-able. The remedy we apply to tame our
emotions is meditation, the practice of referencelessness and of
not getting caught up or entangled in our thoughts and emotions.
Words like ‘entangled’ or ‘engrossed’ are used because they have
the effect of killing the pain of referencelessness – which sounds
strange, doesn’t it? But the reality is that when we are entangled
in our thoughts, we suffer pain. Yet we like that pain because it
makes us feel alive, and we would rather suffer the pain we know
than risk the painlessness of a new experience.
Basically, we are all, in one way or another, masochists. This is
why we feel far more comfortable with the less intimidating, nottoo-bright
and not-too-extraordinary colours, figures and shapes
that we now see, and why we long to cosy up to them.
O Son or Daughter of Noble Family,
[name of dead person],
Do not be drawn towards the subtle images!
Focus on the most dazzling colours and vibrant figures.
A light will shoot out from one of the blazing figures
And pierce your eyes.
Be joyful!
Surrender to the light!
Pray to the light!
And always remember:
Everything you see is nothing but your own mind.
om mani padme hum
Continue to surrender to the brilliant light.
Surrender to it again and again.
Gradually, all the bright, gleaming figures and dazzling lights
Will dissolve into those that are feeble and inviting,
And you will be liberated.
om mani padme hum
Repeat the instructions in one hour, or in two or three hours –
it’s up to you how often. If you can, repeat them again tomorrow
and the next day, three, five or seven times a day.
Always begin by saying,
O Son or Daughter of Noble Family,
[name of dead person],
Once again, you have missed your chance for liberation…
If you can, invoke the millions of beings who must be dying at
this very moment. As bardo beings wherever they are, they will be
able to hear you because their consciousness is no longer blocked
by their bodies. If you are physically in London, a body-less bardo
being in New York will be able to hear you as clearly as if they
were standing right next to you.
Always remember, everything is mind. Therefore the bardo
being has no need to be afraid of the shapes, colours and figures
they see, but neither should they get attached to them.
For some, the stages of the bardo happen all at once; for others,
the stages unfold gradually. But as you are not omniscient, you
cannot know which stage the bardo being has reached. The best
you can do is give the bardo being all the information you can
as quickly and as many times as possible in the hope that at least
some of what you say will help. Continual repetition is a kind of
insurance policy: the more often you repeat the instructions, the
more likely the bardo being is to hear them at least once.
. The Karmic Bardo of Becoming
After three days, say:
O Son or Daughter of Noble Family,
[name of dead person]
Do not be distracted.
You have gone astray.
You did not recognize
The wrathful and peaceful displays of sound, shapes and lights
That are the direct, inner display of the nature of mind.
As you shied away from that naked state,
Your awareness is no longer pristinely pure,
And your projections and perceptions are crude and gross.
om mani padme hum
You know now that you are dead.
Although you long to live again,
The causes and conditions for your new life have not
yet ripened.
Instead, you are entangled in your perception of death.
Multitudes of booming sounds and transfixing lights
Continue to terrify you.
You may feel as if you are falling into an abyss.
Everything you perceive is erratic and strange.
It all shifts and changes so quickly,
You never have time to get used to any of it.
om mani padme hum
Everything you experience strikes terror in your mind.
You have no point of reference,
Nowhere to rest,
No peace,
Nowhere to be silent,
No opportunity to contemplate.
om mani padme hum
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of dead person],
Throughout all this,
Try to remember:
Everything is a manifestation of your mind.
om mani padme hum
Mind is like the sky,
It has no colour, no shape, no boundary,
Yet ‘cognition’ and ‘awareness’ are always present.
Be confident in the nature of your mind.
om mani padme hum
The two previous bardo states are referenceless and so concepts
like food and hunger do not exist. Now that the dead person has
arisen as a bardo being, their prana and mind will strengthen and
become more concrete, and the habit and concept of sustenance –
food and drink – will quickly reestablish itself. Without a body,
the bardo being can only eat smells. This is why we burn ‘sur’ and
dedicate its smoke to the dead person.
Sur Offering
‘Sur’ is a traditional ritual for the dead. Approximately three
days after death, the relatives and friends of the person who died
burn vegetarian food as a sur offering. Tibetans burn roasted
barley, but you can burn any kind of vegetarian food you like – a
biscuit will do.
Visualize the smoke of the sur offering as an infinite abundance
of wealth, food, drink, shelter, transport, and so on. Multiply and
bless the offerings, then dedicate the merit towards the well-being
of the dead person and all sentient beings.
Ideally, visualize yourself as Avalokiteshvara, or whichever
peaceful deity you prefer. The bardo being will be shaky,
nervous and afraid, so visualize yourself as a peaceful and very
compassionate deity to help create a calming atmosphere. Recite
om ah hum a few times and sprinkle water to bless the offerings.
When you practice, if for any reason you are unable to read the
text out loud, read it silently instead.
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of the dead person]
Eat this food until you are full!
Enjoy everything that is offered to your heart’s content.
Do not crave life.
Do not yearn for those you have left behind.
Think instead of your guru.
Think of the deity.
Think of the pure realms of the buddhas.
Think of the buddha realm where the Lord of Limitless Light,
Buddha Amitabha, dwells,
And repeat Buddha Amitabha’s name, again and again.
• If you prefer a slightly more elaborate practice, Chokling Tersar sur
practice is very easy to do. An English translation is freely available for
download from: https://lhaseylotsawa.org/texts/karsur-and-marsur
Buddha Amitabha
Buddha Amitabha made some extremely strong aspirations in
his previous lives as a bodhisattva. It is his wish and aspiration
that just by thinking of him or reciting his name, we can all take
rebirth in his realm the instant we die. So keep reminding the
bardo being of Buddha Amitabha’s name.
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of the dead person]
To invoke Buddha Amitabha, recite:
namo amitabha
or
om ami dheva hri
Pray wholeheartedly to Buddha Amitabha,
Pray to Avalokiteshvara and Guru Rinpoche, Pema Jungne.
Arouse intense devotion for them,
Without the shadow of a doubt.
Long, again and again,
For the same state of buddhahood that they have attained;
Yearn for rebirth into perfect buddhahood.
By making sincere and heartfelt prayers,
You will be reborn into the realm of Buddha Amitabha;
Be joyful.
Do not panic.
Relax.
Be confident,
And intensify unwavering devotion.
Next:
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of the dead person]
You did not focus,
You did not push yourself into the realm of Buddha Amitabha,
So you will now be swept towards a womb.
om mani padme hum
O Son or Daughter of a Noble Family,
[name of the dead person]
Listen wholeheartedly and attentively.
om mani padme hum
If you see piles of wood,
Or caves, or damp, murky, shadowy places,
Be very careful!
If you imagine you are in a pleasant forest, or a mansion,
Be very careful!
om mani padme hum
Do not covet such places;
Do not rush towards them.
Do not make hasty decisions.
om mani padme hum
Instead, wish to be reborn on earth as a human being.
Aspire to connect with the Words of the Buddha, the Dharma,
And yearn to be born in a land
Where the Buddha’s teachings are freely given.
Generate this motivation and aspiration, again and again
and again.
om mani padme hum
Try to remain calm;
If you are overexcited, compose yourself.
om mani padme hum
As I mentioned earlier, you will be reborn as a girl if you feel
jealous of your mother and desire for your father, and as a boy if
you feel jealous of your father and desire for your mother.
Tantrikas, you should visualize your father as Guru Rinpoche
or the deity you practice and are most familiar with, and your
mother as Yeshe Tsogyal or the consort of your personal deity.
Avoid feeling desire or jealous resentment for either or both of
your parents, and instead, joyfully and with devotion for Guru
Rinpoche and Yeshe Tsogyal, enter the womb.
Questions About
Caring for the
Dying and the Dead
“Hold on!”—
and in the pause,
“Buddha have mercy!”
Shayo
What is the most skillful way of dealing with an old person
who isn’t a Dharma practitioner and expresses a wish to die
on a daily basis?
It is probably better not to contradict or argue with them. Try to
chant or sing om mani padme hum whenever you can, but casually,
in the same way you would hum or whistle a tune. Don’t sing
directly at the old person. Make it look as though they overhear
you by accident. In the long run, it really doesn’t matter whether
your singing annoys them or not. The fact that they have heard
the sound of mantra will mean they have made a connection with
the Dharma and, ultimately, that connection will help. If they like
your singing, that’s also good. Either way, both reactions of ‘liking’
and ‘not liking’ are symptoms of having made a connection.
Tell the person that in their situation, longing for death is
completely understandable. But also suggest that as they long for
death, they also make a strong aspiration to be reborn with the
ability to help others – people, animals, the natural environment,
and so on.
What should I say to a Christian who believes they are bad and
will end up in hell?
You should suggest that they pray to their god and ask for forgiveness.
You could also chant om mani padme hum casually (as above).
What should I do if a dying person starts having frightening
visions of demons, and so on?
Tell them that their mind is playing tricks on them, then chant
om mani padme hum and other dharanis.
What should I do if the dying person won’t acknowledge what is
happening and instead wants to engage in small talk?
You should engage in small talk. By doing so, you may be able to
win the dying person’s heart, which would give you the opportunity
to insert some useful information about bodhichitta into
the conversation. You may also be able to introduce them to om
mani padme hum.
What should I do if the dying person has a very strong will to live
and won’t let go at the moment of death?
No matter how strong a person’s will to live, nothing can avert
death. Longing to live or a ‘strong will to live’ is a sign that the
person has not accepted death, which could intensify their suffering.
On the other hand, if causes and conditions have conspired to force
a person close to death even though their life force is intact and
undamaged, a strong will to live could help bring them back to
life. In other words, it is possible that their life force has not been
damaged. This is why it is always good to perform strengthening
and life-lengthening rituals that, in the right circumstances, have
the power to bring a person back to life.
If you are not a Vajrayana practitioner you could read a sutra
out loud, such as The Sutra of Boundless Life and Wisdom.
Tantrikas who have received the relevant empowerments could
chant the mantra of the three long-life deities, or perform an
Amitayus or an Arya Tara ritual, like the Chimé Phagmé Nyingtik.
• If you have received the Chimé Phagmé Nyingtik empowerment, follow
the text of the practice that your Vajrayana Guru has given you.
Doing good deeds in the name of the dying person also helps.
You could practise life release – for example Jamyang Khyentse
Wangpo’s text Increasing Life and Prosperity: A Method for Freeing
Lives, which appears on page .
You could vow to be vegetarian, ideally for the rest of your
life, but at least for a set period of time, like a day, or a week, or a
month, or a year.
You could commission, buy or construct statues or paintings of
Buddha Amitayus or Arya Tara.
You could even build a temple.
How can I support a dying person who is in shock because death
is happening unexpectedly and very quickly?
If the dying person is Buddhist, remind them of the Buddha,
Dharma and Sangha and read all the bardo instructions out loud
to them, especially if they are Tantrikas.
If they are not Buddhist, just be loving and caring and give
them your full attention. You will have plenty of time to read
the bardo instructions to them after they die, which is when you
could also make merit by doing good deeds in their name.
Do you think that having a religious belief about what happens
after death brings a dying person comfort or fear?
It depends on the nature of the religious belief. Hearing about
the ground of liberation (page ) is extremely encouraging for a
dying Buddhist, because it reminds us that the moment of death
is our big chance to wake up and be liberated.
Should a dying Catholic be encouraged to pray to the Virgin Mary?
A sublime and holy being is usually a reflection of your own goodness,
and the desire to pray to a holy being is a form of surrender and
humility. When we pray, we put our trust in someone or something
that is more divine and sublime than we are. This kind of trust is
a very good human quality, but not all human beings can trust in
this way. When we pray, our genuine humility, devotion and belief
in the sublime is reflected back to us in the form of the buddhas,
bodhisattvas and holy beings – beings like the Virgin Mary.
For Catholics, Mary expresses serenity and gentle compassion,
both of which are very good qualities to have in your mind as you
die. So I would never suggest that to pray to the Virgin Mary is
anything other than a very good idea.
It’s difficult to know when a dying Buddhist practitioner needs to
be reminded of their practice or whether silence would be better.
Sometimes I feel shy about doing anything because I don’t want
to disturb or distract the dying person. Do you have any advice?
Yes, it is difficult. Generally, though, what you say doesn’t matter
nearly as much as your motivation. So try to arouse a good and
pure motivation, then do your best to offer encouragement and
instruction. And try to be sensitive – it is best not to annoy
someone while they are dying.
Carers who are empathetic and have good intuition will be
able to read the dying person’s responses and adjust what they do
accordingly. But even if the dying person gets annoyed or doesn’t
want to hear or accept that they really are dying, you shouldn’t
pussyfoot around – this isn’t the time to worry about political
correctness. If you know without a shadow of doubt that the
person is dying, you should tell them. However annoyed they get,
your advice about what they should do as they die and in the
bardos will help them more than anything they have ever heard
before. But it takes courage to deliver this kind of information,
which is why your pure motivation, body language, demeanor,
and even the tone of your voice are so important. It will all help.
How do I deal with my own ambiguous feelings (grief, animosity,
sadness, desire for material gain from a loved one) and emotional
stress (intense trauma) as I try to help a dying person through
my practice?
This is why tuning into your motivation is so important. You may
not feel clear about anything else, but if you are motivated by love,
compassion and especially bodhichitta – however shallow it may
feel – whatever you do will help.
If you are a Buddhist, I suggest you contemplate the Four
Immeasurable Thoughts: love, compassion, joy and equanimity.
You could even recite them to yourself as a reminder.
I have seen three people die and in each case the moment of
death was very distressing. I saw no surrender, just a flailing
body, fear and resistance. The doctor told me that even though
the process of the body shutting down looks distressing, the
minds of the dying don’t register it. I didn’t believe him.
That is what the dissolution of the elements looks like. If you
notice this happening as someone is dying, seize the opportunity
to read the instructions on page out loud.
The process of dying isn’t always calm, romantic and peaceful.
As a caregiver I am sometimes frightened and, to my shame,
disgusted because weak bodies excrete, smell, and so on. Do you
have any advice about how to cope?
Always encourage yourself. You are doing perhaps the greatest
service one human being can do for another. Far too many people
are abandoned at death because so few of us are willing to take
responsibility for caring for the dying. And there is nothing more
painful or terrifying to a human being than the process of dying.
If you are a Buddhist, pray to the buddhas and bodhisattvas and
ask them to give you the strength, the wisdom and the compassion
to make everything you do turn out to be exactly what the dying
person needs and longs for. Also pray that somehow your help will
result in the seed of bodhichitta being sown in their minds.
But don’t try to do too much, too quickly. To willingly offer
to care for the dying is an incredibly brave thing to do, but it will
take time for you to get used to everything that the job entails.
Take it step-by-step, starting with very small steps. Gradually,
you will gain more and more experience and if your motivation is
rooted in love, compassion and bodhichitta, whatever you do will
definitely help.
How can I help a dying person who is strongly medicated, on
morphine, for example?
Read the bardo instructions in this book, especially after the
person is dead. Morphine only really affects the body, so once the
body is dead, it will have far less effect on their mind.
My job is to care for the dying. Often, relatives and friends of a
dying person insist on remaining at their deathbed. Although
they don’t mean to be disruptive, they can make it difficult for
a dying Buddhist to recite mantras or receive teachings. How
should I deal with this kind of person?
Always be skillful and never try to impose anything on anyone. The
moment of death is a crucial point in everyone’s life. If just one of the
relatives or friends is willing to listen to you, try telling them about
the bardos. But if no one will listen, sit somewhere private and read
the instructions in this book and say some prayers, or read Great
Liberation through Hearing in the Bardo or the bardo instructions
you like best. Nothing and no one can stop you from doing that.
Practically speaking, during the process of dying Tibetan
tradition recommends that we avoid moving or touching a
person’s body, especially from the waist down. So, if possible, try
to encourage relatives and friends to gather by the dying person’s
head, not their feet.
What are the physical signs of the end of the inner dissolution?
Are they similar to the signs that doctors see after death,
like the onset of rigor mortis? How can I tell when a person’s
consciousness has left their body?
The signs doctors see may well be the same as the signs that signal
the end of the inner dissolution. But the process of dying isn’t
uniform. And if there are perceivable signs, they will vary from
person to person. A great practitioner who is sensitive to the process
of dying, and so on, will be able to tell when the consciousness
leaves the body. But for the rest of us, it’s almost impossible to be
sure. In most cases, we must rely on the general instructions.
You will know that the person is close to being completely dead
once they stop breathing, their bodies are cold, and they don’t
respond in any way.
After death, if there is warmth around the heart of the corpse that
lasts for up to a day, is it always a sign that the dead person has
entered the ‘tukdam’ state? Even when it happens to the corpse
of someone who wasn’t a practitioner? Or could there be another
explanation for this warmth?
‘Tukdam’ means that a spiritual practitioner is dwelling in the
state of samadhi or ‘one-pointedness’. So any warmth around the
heart of someone who was not a practitioner is unlikely to be a
sign of samadhi. They may just be distracted.
Should a picture of the Buddha or guru be left by a corpse, and
should the chanting continue after death and for how long?
Yes, of course. But the picture doesn’t necessarily have to be left in
the room where the person died – these days that can be difficult
if the person died in hospital. Instead, you could put the picture
in their bedroom at home and leave it there for as long as possible.
I have been told that our state of mind at the moment of death
is vital and that we should try to be as calm as possible. My
father died in pain and appeared to be very distressed. I am now
worried about what happened to him.
There are many practices you can do to help a loved one who
appeared to die in distress, for example, a chang chok ritual
purification of the dead.
The dead person’s family could, if they wish, commemorate
the life of their loved one in all kinds of ways. Some people do
voluntary work for a charity, or give money to charities, or give
food and clothing to the poor, or offer shelter to the homeless, or
even donate money to campaigns for saving the earth or cleaning
up the environment, then dedicate it all to the memory of their
loved one. These are the kinds of ‘good deeds’ or ‘virtuous actions’
that will really help. It’s important to remember that in Buddhism,
‘virtue’ is always measured by how much closer an activity will
bring you to understanding the truth.
Alternatively, or in addition, if this kind of commemoration
appeals to you, commission a buddha statue. If you can’t afford
to have a statue made, you could simply download a beautiful
photograph of a Buddha statue, print it and hang it in your home.
Or you could print several copies of the photo and give them away.
Or you could read some of the Buddha’s teachings, the sutras. Or
you could publish and distribute free copies of the sutras you like
best. Or you could make offerings to the lay and ordained sanghas
by, for example, contributing towards the upkeep of a monastery.
If you prefer, you could follow one of the many traditional
methods for accumulating merit for the dead. You could make
light, incense and flower offerings at Bodhgaya or Mount Wu Tai
Shan, or whichever holy place you like best. Or you could offer
two hours, or two days, or two weeks of your time to tidying up all
the rubbish scattered in and around holy shrines and temples. Or
you could facilitate the study and practice of the Dharma through
sponsorship, so that Dharma students can dedicate themselves to
their spiritual path full-time. These are just examples of the kinds
of good deed you can do and there are many other options.
On top of everything I have just mentioned, if you are a
Tantrika, there are countless rituals that could help your loved
one. You could, for example, do the chang chok ritual purification
that I have already mentioned, through which the consciousness
of the dead person is guided to a better rebirth – Chokgyur
Lingpa’s Khorwa Dongtruk is very easy to do. Chang chok can be
done no matter how many thousands of years ago a person died.
What is Chang Chok?
The Buddha’s teachings offer comprehensive instructions
about how to put the awareness of cause, condition and effect into
practise. Fundamentally, cause, condition and effect never stray
from the essence of shunyata. As Buddha said, everything is cause
and condition, and the most powerful of all causes and conditions
is your intention, your mind.
A skeptical modern mind that is ambivalent about the vast
and infinite manifestations of cause and condition, will very likely
harbour quite a few doubts about chang chok rituals.
Those of you whose mind is as innocent and naïve as a child’s
will be able to enjoy and admire a sandcastle as if it were ‘real’. A
sophisticated, mature, calculating, adult mind is more likely to
dismiss the sandcastle out of hand, because what an adult mind
wants is the ‘real’ thing.
If your mind is flexible enough to be fully satisfied by a
sandcastle, so-called ‘death’ could be as simple as walking out of
one room and into another. It will therefore be easy for someone
like you to simply call out to a dead person and ask them to come
back so you can tell them what they need to know. This is how
Tantric practitioners think. As they trust shunyata and understand
the laws of cause, condition and effect, they are able to make use of
a very simple method – one of the Vajrayana’s infinite methods –
for summoning the dead person’s mind consciousness to where
the chang chok ritual is taking place.
What we do in a chang chok ritual is summon the dead person’s
mind consciousness to an effigy that has been drawn on a piece
of paper, with the seed syllable nri at its centre. The name of the
dead person is written on the same piece of paper, along with as
many other names of the dead as you wish. From the space of
bodhichitta, the Tantrika who is performing the ritual arises in
the form of the deity of the specific practice they are doing – for
example, Avalokiteshvara or Amitabha. The Tantrika summons
the spirit of the dead person (or people) and performs the rituals
of taking refuge and the bodhisattva vow, then gives them the
appropriate teachings and most important of all, an abhisheka.
After making a final offering of sensory pleasure objects, the
consciousness of the dead person is transferred into the heart of
the principal deity of the mandala – Avalokiteshvara or Amitabha.
This is the structure of the Khorwa Dongtruk, Chokgyur
Lingpa’s chang chok. There are many other good, short chang
chok purifications to choose from, but you must first receive the
appropriate empowerment before practising them. Ask the person
who gives you the empowerment for the teachings about how to
do the practice and for a copy of the practice text.
If you have yet to receive the empowerment, or you are not a
tantric practitioner, you could ask a qualified lama, monk, nun or
friend to perform the practice for your dead friend or loved one.
And as I mentioned earlier, the fact that you want to help someone
by requesting such rituals indicates that through you, the dead
person has an indirect link with the Dharma. So use that link as
the foundation from which to request rituals to be performed for
their benefit, and for engaging in all forms of virtuous action.
My grandmother was smiling when she died and looked very
peaceful. My family has always believed that this means she had a
‘good death’. But my grandfather’s death was quite different and
very distressing for the whole family – it didn’t look anything like a
‘good death’. Rinpoche, how would you describe a ‘good death’?
For the dead person’s lips to be twisted into a grin is definitely not
a necessary characteristic of a ‘good death’.
A good death is to die listening to the recitation of the names
of the buddhas and bodhisattvas.
A good death is having someone with you to remind you to
think about the well-being of all sentient beings and for you to
make the wish that all sentient beings are happy and don’t suffer.
A good death is having someone with you to remind you not
to be greedy, or to hold onto any part of this life, or to be angry,
and so on.
A good death, according to Buddhism, is to die in the atmosphere
of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.
And an extremely good death is to be introduced to the nature
of mind – the Buddha – by a qualified practitioner at the moment
you die.
But don’t be too quick to judge whether one death is ‘good’
and another ‘bad’. After all, what a person’s death looks like to you
will be based on your own perceptions and therefore coloured by
your experiences, education and prejudices.
Does emergency treatment, like CPR or electric shock treatment
to restart the heart, cause a dying person unnecessary suffering?
There is no way of knowing. In the case of critical medical
emergencies, it is probably best to rely on a doctor’s advice. Each
one of us is extremely attached to life. Our will to live is usually
so strong that if there was the slightest chance that our lives
could be prolonged, most of us wouldn’t hesitate to undergo
invasive emergency treatments, like CPR. But it is very difficult
to judge what is genuinely good and helpful for someone else.
Having said that, as Dharma practitioners value practice above
all else, a seasoned Dharma practitioner would probably consider it
worth enduring the discomfort and suffering of invasive procedures
if doing so would buy them a little more time to practise. If such
a procedure could give a practitioner the extra few moments they
need to look at picture of the Buddha, or their guru, or to hear the
sound of Dharma, most would gladly endure it.
My husband is dying and says that, in a crisis situation, he doesn’t
want to be given any form of emergency treatment to prolong his
life. Should I respect his wishes?
If the sick or dying person is conscious and in their ‘right mind’ –
meaning if they are sane, rational, thinking clearly and not
suffering from any form of mental illness – yes, you should respect
their wishes.
The doctors say that invasive measures might make my husband
more comfortable, but he is adamant he doesn’t want to go
through that kind of ordeal. Should I intervene if the doctors try
to insist?
If the dying person is of sound mind and not intent on ending
their life, their wishes should be respected. But bear in mind that
there is a the fine line between wanting an ‘assisted death’, which
isn’t an option for Buddhists, and not wanting to be kept alive by
artificial methods, which should be respected. In some cases, a
practitioner may refuse a treatment because it would interfere with
their spiritual practice. So we should be particularly respectful of
a practitioner’s wishes.
How important is it to find an appropriate balance between
giving a dying person drugs like morphine to make sure they
aren’t in too much pain, and maintaining clarity of mind so they
can be as aware as possible at the moment of death?
It depends. From a spiritual point of view, if the dying person is
not a practitioner and has strong negative habits, whether they take
morphine or not, they have about as much chance of liberation at
the moment of death as an animal.
If at all possible, it is best not to give a person who is very close
to death drugs that will either make them groggy or knock them
out. Ideally, practitioners prefer not to be befuddled by drugs and
to know what is happening as they die. By remaining conscious and
aware, they will be able to hear their friends chant the names of the
Buddha or recite the instructions for the moment of death, and they
may even be able to look at a picture of the Buddha or their guru.
How important is prayer?
When someone close to death becomes so afraid that they panic,
hospital doctors usually sedate them – they don’t have much choice.
If you are religious and are taking care of a sedated dying person,
simply remain at their bedside and say prayers for them. Prayer
always helps enormously, no matter which tradition you follow.
Often there is nothing else you can do.
The English often say, “it is the thought that counts”. It’s so true!
And prayer is a great deal more powerful and effective than a fleeting
thought. So prayers from any tradition will be very beneficial.
If the dying person is Jewish, Christian, Hindu, atheist etc.,
and you are a Buddhist, there is no reason why you shouldn’t
say Buddhist prayers for them. If the dying person is open to
discussing their beliefs with you, ask them directly if they would
like you to say a prayer for them from their own tradition.
∑
Handling the Corpse
You should probably follow your own culture’s guidelines for
handling the corpse. As I have already mentioned, the Tibetan
tradition recommends that a corpse is left untouched for as long as
possible after death and that it is not moved. If you can, try to leave
the corpse where it is for three days, or at least for a few hours. But
as this is quite difficult to organize in the modern world you may
only be able to leave it alone for an hour or two. If this happens,
don’t panic. Just do your best to leave the body untouched for as
long as is practical.
People often ask why a body shouldn’t be touched. While you
are alive, your mind is more attached to your body than to anything
else in this world. When you are bumped into on the street,
you can react by saying something to person who bumped into
you because you are alive. But once a person is dead, the living
have no way of knowing how strongly the dead person’s mind
might react to their body being touched. And for the dead, the
handling of their old body can be extremely unsettling.
According to Tantra, your projections at death and after death
will be more positive if your consciousness leaves through the
upper part of the body – ideally the top of the head, the crown
chakra. This is why Tibetan tradition recommends that the lower
half of a corpse is not touched and that people do not sit or stand
near it. Relatives and friends should stand near the head of the
corpse and to one side, not directly in front of it. This is also why
Tibetan teachers advise you to touch the top of a dead person’s
head before anyone else touches the body.
If the dead person’s family are open to the idea, you could
suggest placing a tagdrol on the corpse – but this is just a suggestion
not a ‘must’.
Tagdrol
‘Tagdrol’ is the method of ‘liberation through touch’ . It is
often practised by the living – many people keep a tagdrol with
them for protection while they are alive – but it can also be applied
to dead bodies. You don’t have to be dead to wear a tagdrol.
If you are interested in applying this method, you will find
all the information you need on page . An image of a tagdrol
chakra for you to photocopy and consecrate is on page .
Placing a tagdrol on a corpse works well if you have devotion
for and genuine belief in the method. But even if the dead person
didn’t believe in it or was aggressively anti-spiritual, as long as the
person who places the tagdrol on the corpse is motivated by love,
compassion and bodhichitta, it will have a beneficial effect.
Read the Bardo Instructions Out Loud
Traditionally, Tibetans guide the dead by reading the instructions
from Great Liberation through Hearing in the Bardo and other
similar texts. But what if the dead person did not believe in life
after death, or heaven and hell, or a bardo state? Would reading
the traditional bardo instructions out loud still make a difference?
While we are alive, none of us can prove scientifically or
conclusively that we will experience the bardos after we die. But
neither can we prove that we won’t. Imagine what would happen
if a person who had been convinced that there was no such thing
as life after death were to wake up after death, surrounded by
the terrifying visions described in this book. Wouldn’t even the
smallest hint about where they are and what they should be doing be
welcome? No matter what they did or didn’t believe in life, the dying
person has nothing to lose and everything to gain from hearing
these instructions.
However you die (violently or peacefully), wherever you die (in
a hospital, at home or on the street) and whenever you die (at the
age of or ), something in these instructions for dying, death
and beyond will be useful to you – if one part doesn’t help, another
will. This is why we read the instructions over and over again.
The dying person may not get it the first or second time around,
but eventually they will. And unless you are a realised being who
knows exactly what to do and when to do it, we ordinary beings
have only this general advice to guide us.
Rituals and Practices for the Dead
Tibetan tradition suggests that the best time to offer the dead
person help and to perform practices on their behalf is during the
first forty-nine days after their death.
If the dead person was a relative, or a good friend, and
particularly if they were a Dharma friend, it is important that you:
– make offerings to the buddhas and bodhisattvas
– sponsor rituals on their behalf
– chant mantras, and
– perform rituals for them yourself.
If you are a Tantrika and have received the appropriate empowerments,
it is especially important that you perform whichever of the
tantric rituals you are familiar with that was designed for dead or
dying people – for instance, Red Avalokiteshvara and Akshobhya.
You could also make light offerings in the name of the dead
person at holy places like Bodhgaya. If you prefer, you could make
incense or flower offerings, and so on.
You could also:
– practise life release (see page )
– make light offerings of butterlamps or candles
– vow to be vegetarian, ideally for a lifetime, but at least for a
specific period
– commission, buy or construct statues or paintings of
Buddha Amitayus or Arya Tara, or
– build a temple.
If you wish, as you read the instructions, include the names of
other dead people who might benefit from this information.
Phowa
Tibetans usually ask a lama or a monk or a nun to do phowa
for someone who has just died. But would a phowa ritual help if
the person who died wasn’t spiritual?
The Vajrayana teachings state that the tantric method of phowa
helps whether the dead person was spiritual or not, but that the
ritual will have more power if the person who organises it has a
strong conviction and trust in the practice. If you are a Buddhist,
the fact that you are showing concern for the spiritual well-being
of the dead person and are willing to organize rituals and practices
for their benefit shows that they had a connection with this path –
so use that connection.
There is no reason why such rituals should not be performed
anonymously. Anonymous help is often the best kind. These days,
money is given to charities and trusts that pass it on to the needy,
who rarely even know the names of their benefactors, let alone
meet them.
Sur Offering
Traditionally, sur practice is performed every day for three days
after death, or for a week, or at best, every day for forty-nine days
(see page ).
The Practice of Life Release
Buddhists practise two kinds of accumulation: the accumulation
of merit and the accumulation of wisdom. Merit is accumulated
through practices like generosity, diligence, discipline and so on;
and wisdom is accumulated through the practice of meditation
and activities like hearing and contemplation. This means that
of the six paramitas, three accumulate merit, two accumulate
wisdom, and both accumulations require the paramita of patience.
The accumulations of wisdom and merit are interdependent
and indispensable on the Buddhist path. For instance, at the most
mundane level, without merit we lack the means to hear, study and
contemplate the Dharma; and without wisdom it is only possible to
accumulate small-time merit. If you lack wisdom, you will never be
able to transform a rather ordinary offering – such as a single lotus
petal – into the kind of offering that accumulates inexhaustible
merit. Therefore, merit and wisdom go hand-in-hand.
Merit is often categorized either as ‘stained’ merit or ‘stainless’
merit. Stained merit is the merit you accumulate within the
boundaries of your dualistic mind and emotions. Stainless merit is
accumulated when your merit-making activities are accompanied
by an understanding of shunyata.
Life release is one of the many activities that accumulates
stained or ‘ordinary’ merit. We practise it when we rescue living
beings from certain death. You could, for example, buy live fish
that have just been caught and return them to a river or the sea;
or buy up all the turkeys that are about to be slaughtered for
Thanksgiving. Saving the lives of such beings is said to accumulate
the supreme kind of stained merit.
Life release is practised all over Asia and various rituals have
been developed to accompany the process, for example Jamyang
Khyentse Wangpo’s Increasing Life and Prosperity: A Method for
Freeing Lives (see page ).
However, you don’t necessarily have to perform the ritual itself
or read a text. It is enough simply to save the lives of beings that
are about to be put to death and dedicate the merit towards the
enlightenment of all sentient beings.
Make Tsatsas
Tsatsas are small clay images of buddhas and stupas that are
usually stamped from a mould and can often be found scattered
around ancient stupas. In fact, stupas are large-scale versions of
tsatsas and are also often filled with, among other things, many
much smaller tsatsas. In ancient India and Tibet, the practice of
making tsatsas from the ashes of a cremated body was strongly
encouraged. Like tagdrol, this practice works best if the person
making the tsatsas has devotion for the method. And again, this
method is a suggestion, not a ‘must’.
A tsatsa is a representation of the Buddha’s mind or ushnisha,
and the practice of making tsatsas – the process of kneading
the clay, pressing it into the moulds, firing the clay in an oven,
painting it, and so on – accumulates merit. Basically, although it
isn’t at the top of most modern practitioners’ to-do lists, the effort
you put into making tsatsas is a bona fide spiritual practice. These
days, if practitioners do make tsatsas, they tend to make use of
labour-saving technology rather than press the clay into moulds
by hand – which, I suppose, is better than not making any at all.
One of the many reasons making tsatsas is such a good practice
is that it isn’t easy to brag about. Another is that tsatsas can’t be
used to increase your own comfort and pleasure or for gain. You
are far less likely to fall prey to spiritual materialism by making
tsatsas than by building a temple. Sadly, temples have too many
practical uses. Temples provide shelter from the rain or fierce
sunlight, and are often used as hotels or tourist destinations –
which may well be the highest form of spiritual materialism. But
there isn’t much you can do with tsatsas once they have been created.
You can’t profit from them, live in them, eat them, show them off,
they have no practical use, and making them doesn’t elicit pride,
jealousy, or competitiveness in others. The same goes for water
offerings. No one gets jealous when you offer a bowl of water,
whereas they might feel jealous if you were to offer a purse full of gold
or silver. Advice about how to make tsatsas appears on page .
Modern people rarely rejoice at other people’s offerings.
More often than not, generous offerings are subject to all kinds
of judgements. The people who make such offerings are often
condemned and even sneered at because it’s so easy for the rich,
who have so much, to give a lot. And competitive people always
want their offerings to outshine everyone else’s. Human beings
can be so petty and narrow-minded.
Commemoration
Most western cultures have developed their own traditions for
commemorating and memorializing the dead. In much of Europe,
for example, the dead are laid to rest in beautiful graveyards under
ornately carved tombstones, which family and friends can then
visit when they want to think about loved ones and offer flowers.
I am told that some people keep their dead loved one’s ashes at
home in an urn. One of the most famous of all commemorations
is the Taj Mahal in India, built by a Mughal Emperor for his
belovéd first wife.
Whether you commemorate your loved one according to your
own cultural traditions or not is up to you. But if you would like
to follow a Buddhist tradition, you could commission statues of
buddhas and bodhisattvas in the name of the dead person, or
print and frame a photo of a buddha, or commission a painting –
whichever option you can afford. Buddhists tend to commission
paintings of Buddha Amitabha’s realm (Sukhavati), or Guru
Rinpoche’s Copper-Coloured Mountain, or Akshobhya Buddha.
Commissioning sacred art serves two purposes: it is a wonderful
memorial for the dead and it also accumulates merit.
Offer the Dead Person’s Belongings
After a Buddhist has died, try to leave their belongings untouched
for three days. If the relatives agree, everything should then be
offered to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, to philanthropic
endeavours, to charities that work to protect the environment,
to organizations trying to eradicate child prostitution and child
The Taj Mahal
labour, or whichever cause was close to the dead person’s heart.
Buddhists traditionally make offerings to two fields of merit: the
buddhas, bodhisattvas and sublime beings; and sentient beings –
humans, animals, and so on. Ideally, try to make offerings to both
fields of merit.
Although the practice has begun to die out, in some parts
of East Bhutan, the corpse is informed by a family member or
friend before any of their belongings are given away: “Today, I
will give your cup to the local monastery” or “I will give your
pen to the local school”. It’s a good idea. This practice is well
worth considering.
If for any reason there is no corpse, write the dead person a letter
telling them what you intend to do, then leave it on their desk for a
day or two, or by their armchair or wherever they liked to sit.
Repay Karmic Debts
Deluded, ignorant beings like you and me are subject to karma
and are therefore victims of karmic debt. Everything that happens
to us in life and death – our successes, failures, even the manner
of our death – happens as a result of our karmic debts. Basically,
causes and conditions dictate everything we do. So one of the
activities we could initiate on behalf of a dead loved one is a
karmic debt-clearing ritual.
What is ‘karmic debt’? On paper, you own a flat, a car, wardrobes
full of clothes and expensive accessories. Yet, if everything you own
was acquired with borrowed money, technically, all your worldly
goods belong to the bank. Karmic debt works in pretty much the
same way. Everything we are, our situation in life, our health, our
wealth and even our appearance is based on countless lifetimes of
interaction with others. The Buddhist teachings tell us that we are
therefore karmically indebted to absolutely everyone. Every single
sentient being has, at one time, been our father, mother, child,
maid, driver, the horse or donkey we have ridden, our best friend
and our worst enemy.
As you read this book, you could be sitting on a spot that
belongs to a ghost. Did you ask the ghost’s permission to sit there?
We build houses without giving a second thought to the many
animals that will be turned out of their homes as a result. We owe
an unrepayable debt to our teachers, nurses, doctors, leaders and
countries, and to our police forces for keeping us safe and bringing
those who steal from and hurt us to justice. Some people don’t pay
taxes on principle, yet they benefit from the security their country
provides to live comfortably and securely. If you are one of those
people, you owe your country’s social system far more than those
who participate by paying their taxes. All these karmic debts are
the reason we experience sickness, family feuds and failure. And
because we are all burdened with a colossal amount of karmic
debt, we have almost no control over what we do, think, have, and
how we live. Today you may be healthy, bright and energetic, but
in a split second, a stupid accident could wipe out all your health
and energy for good.
Is there an antidote to karmic debt? Yes. A general antidote that
is also very effective, is to create good karma. There is no end of
ways for creating and accumulating good karma, from donating
a penny to a world ecology programme to volunteering to teach
maths to child prostitutes in Cambodia. But according to the
Buddhist teachings, the best remedy for karmic debt is to practise
the Dharma. Take refuge, make the bodhisattva vow and practise
bodhichitta. You could also do tonglen practice: as you breathe
out, offer everything that is good to others, and as you breathe in,
hoover up everything that is bad (page ). And always dedicate
the merit you accumulate towards the enlightenment of others.
If you can, you should also offer sentient beings some practical
help. Build stupas and statues of the Buddha; support those who
study and practice Dharma; and make the Dharma available to as
many people as possible. These are all very powerful methods for
wiping out your karmic debt.
If you are a Tantrika and have received the necessary
empowerments and teachings, you could try some of the
Vajrayana’s excellent karmic-debt clearing techniques, like sur
pujas (page ), sang pujas and water offering pujas (page ).
• Lhatsün Namkha Jikmé’s Mountain Smoke Offering (Riwö Sangchö) arranged
by Dudjom Rinpoche is available for download from: www.lotsawahouse.
org/tibetan-masters/lhatsun-namkha-jigme/riwo-sangcho
All these virtuous activities are very important.
Questions About
Practices for the Dead
∑
If the family doesn’t have the resources to make offerings to high
lamas or masters, what can they do to help a dying relative who
has no spiritual beliefs? Can the family say prayers and aspire to
help their relative themselves? Would that be enough?
Yes, absolutely! All the family needs to do is make sure that the name
of the dead person is spoken into the ears of a good practitioner.
There is no need to make big offerings, or write fat cheques, or
light candles or incense. No fees whatsoever are necessary. It is
fundamentally wrong to charge a fee for any kind of compassionate
activity – to do so would defeat the whole purpose.
At the same time, making offerings to the buddhas, bodhisattvas,
monks and nuns generates merit. Making offerings may also help
you feel confident that you really are accumulating merit and good
deeds on behalf of your loved one. So if you can, by all means,
make offerings. And bear in mind that your offering doesn’t have
to be vast. The offering of a single flower petal in the dead person’s
name is enough, or a penny, or a pebble. Or you could buy dinner
for a beggar.
Traditionally, the Chinese offer joss paper, food and clothing,
etc., for the dead. Does this kind of offering help?
Yes, it does. But obviously, whichever tradition you follow, do it
properly. Offerings are far more effective when accompanied by
the proper ritual. What makes a ritual ‘proper’? Your motivation;
motivation is the key. The proper motivation for performing
rituals for the dead is the heartfelt and sincere wish to free them
from suffering. Without that motivation, burning a million
dollars-worth of joss paper won’t help.
The Chinese have been burning joss paper for hundreds of
years; it’s one of the customs that provides the framework for a
large part of their lives. Today, we can adapt this tradition and
make it part of a sur practice (see page ).
Traditionally, Tibetans burn barley flour (tsampa) instead of
joss paper, but it really doesn’t matter what you burn, just as long as
your motivation is pure and you believe that the offering has been
received. If a burnt offering is made with the right motivation, the
bardo being will feel well-nourished and fully sustained by it.
We human beings are creatures of habit. You and I are delighted
when we are given money or taken out for dinner. Similarly, a bardo
being is delighted when it is offered sur. Whether we are alive or
dead, our habits remain the same. And our habits are usually so
strong that if, for example, you are given money in a dream, even
though the giver, receiver and money are all an illusion, you still
feel happy. So whatever you offer to the dead, never worry or even
speculate about whether it has been received or not. Just believe
that the offering has reached the person for whom it was intended.
You will increase the benefit of burning joss paper by making
your offering within the framework of a sur ritual, which includes
a specific visualization, motivated by the wish to liberate the dead
person from all their suffering.
What you should never do is make an offering because you
don’t want the ghost of a dead person hanging around and
bothering you or your family. The purpose of sur is not merely to
shoo away a bardo being.
QUESTIONS ABOUT PRACTICES FOR THE DEAD
How important is it to train in Phowa practice?
Phowa practice is important. But always remember that the pillar
or spine of phowa is devotion. Ideally, for phowa to work, the
dying or dead person should have unwavering trust and belief in
the method and, at the very least, be familiar with the practice.
For those who don’t have this kind of trust, if the motivation
of the person invited to perform the phowa ritual is based on
bodhichitta, they obviously have devotion for the path of phowa
and their practice will help. Those with an enormous amount of
merit will know a great master who can do phowa for them as they
die. Best of all is to learn and practise phowa while you are alive
and do it for yourself when you die.
Phowa isn’t the only practice that helps after death. Any of
the methods that appear in this book are of tremendous benefit.
Merely showing the dying person a photo of the Buddha, or
reciting the names of the Buddha helps enormously, even once the
person is dead.
You could also show the dying person an image from their own
culture that inspires a sense of love, compassion and serenity, like
the Virgin Mary.
I want to help my dead partner but find it hard to decide which
of the recommended practices are essential and truly beneficial,
and which are cultural and based in superstition.
This is a difficult question to answer because almost all rituals are
influenced by national cultures and entangled in superstition. For
example, people in Europe and America rarely greet each other
by pressing their palms together in the Anjali mudra, whereas in
India the gesture is commonplace. However rich the teachings on
the origin and purpose of this mudra and however elaborate the
philosophical interpretations, it can only ever be classified as an
Indian cultural phenomenon.
Once again, your motivation is of paramount importance.
Buddhists are never content merely to offer temporary consolation
or practical assistance. ‘Help’ from a Buddhist perspective means
helping sentient beings attain enlightenment. As long as you are
motivated by bodhichitta and the wish to help the dying person
become enlightened, it really doesn’t matter what you do.
For a Buddhist, the best of all possible philanthropic activities is
to study and practise the Buddhadharma. If, for whatever reason,
that’s not possible, you could make offerings to the Buddha, Dharma
and Sangha, or offer to do some voluntary work for an organization
or charity that aims to spread the Buddhadharma. Or you could
make it possible for someone else to work for that organization. Or
you could support a practitioner financially so they can study and
practice. Or you could print prayer flags or pictures of the buddhas.
Again, there are many options to chose from.
