Human beings have also developed systems for making sure that
society runs smoothly: the police maintain public order, traffic
lights control the flow of road traffic, and governments administer
social welfare and defense systems.
Yet, even though we human beings have put lifetimes of
effort into organizing, designing and structuring every aspect of
our world, how many of us have been curious and courageous
enough to ask, “ ” Shouldn’t we all try to contemplate
the inevitability of our own death at least once this lifetime?
Particularly as every single one of us will die – itself a crucially
important piece of information. Doesn’t putting a little effort into
processing the inescapable fact of our own death make sense?
Once we are dead, what will happen to all our addresses,
homes, businesses and holiday retreats? What will happen to our
wristwatches, iPhones and all those traffic lights? To our insurance
and pension plans? To that roll of dental floss you bought
this morning?
Buddhists believe that of all the beings on this planet, human
beings are the most likely to ask, “ ” Can you imagine a
parrot thinking, “Should I eat my nuts and seeds right now, just
in case I die tonight? Or can I risk saving them until tomorrow?”
Animals just don’t think like that. And they certainly don’t think
about causes and conditions.
In fact, according to the Buddhadharma, not even the gods and
celestial beings ever think of asking, “ ” The gods are far
more interested in their meticulously clean, fine porcelain saucers
and silver spoons, their exquisitely brewed tea, and their entrancing
music. The gods are said to love gazing at vast cloud formations,
magically creating swimming pools or fountains in the midst of
the largest and fluffiest, then spending hours, sometimes days,
contemplating their beauty. This kind of activity dominates the
lives of the gods and is far more interesting to them than asking,
“ ” I doubt such a thought would enter their heads.
Human beings, on the other hand, have the capacity to wonder,
yet the inexorability of our own death rarely occurs to us. When
do any of us think about death? While we are experiencing terrible
suffering? No. In the midst of ecstatic happiness? Again, no. We
are intelligent and aware, and therefore enjoy the conditions that
support the formulation of such a question, yet we put all our time
and energy into shoring up the self-deception that we will never
die. We numb ourselves from the pain of unavoidable realities by
keeping our minds busy and entertained, and by making elaborate
plans for the future. In a way, this is precisely what makes being
human so wonderful, but the catch is that by doing so we create a
false sense of security. We forget that both our own death and the
deaths of all those we know and love are inescapable.
Think about it: by the time each one of us has been alive for a
quarter of a century, we will have lost at least one close friend or
family member. One day you are having dinner with your parents,
then the next day they are dead and you never see them again.
This kind of experience forces us to face up to the truth of death –
and for some it is a very bitter and terrifying truth.
Fear of Death
To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think
oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what
one does not know. No one knows whether death may
not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men
fear it as if they knew that it is the greatest of evils. And
surely it is the most blameworthy ignorance to believe
that one knows what one does not know.
Socrates
Why are we all so afraid of death?
There are many reasons, but the main one is that death is
totally unknown territory. No one we know has ever come back
from the dead to tell us what death is. And even if they did, would
we believe them?
Death is a mystery and, although we have no idea what will
happen when we die, we make all kinds of assumptions about it.
We assume that once we are dead, we won’t be able to go home;
that from the moment we die, we will never again sit on our
favourite sofa. We think: if I am dead, I won’t be able to watch
the next Olympics or discover who the mole is in that new spy
series. But we are just guessing. The bottom line is, we simply
don’t know. And it is the not knowing that terrifies us.
As death draws near, many of us find ourselves thinking back
over our lives and feeling shame and guilt about what we have and
haven’t done. Not only do we fear losing everything that we have
become attached to in this life and all our references, but we also
fear being judged for our shameful actions. Both prospects make
the idea of death even more terrible.
There is no turning back from death and there is no escape. It
is perhaps the only event in life that we have no choice but to face.
We simply cannot avoid it. Even trying to speed up the process
by committing suicide doesn’t work because, as human beings,
however quickly we die, fear doesn’t have an ‘off’ switch. We must
still experience the unimaginable fear that accompanies dying
because we cannot transform ourselves into inanimate objects,
like pebbles, to ensure that we feel nothing.
How, then, do we rid ourselves of our paralysing, numbing fear
of death?
Once I, Zhuang Zhou, dreamed that I was a butterfly
and was happy as a butterfly. I was conscious that I was
quite pleased with myself, but I did not know that I was
Zhou. Suddenly I awoke, and there I was, visibly Zhou. I
do not know whether it was Zhou dreaming that he was
a butterfly or the butterfly dreaming that it was Zhou.
Between Zhou and the butterfly there must be some
distinction. This is called the transformation of things.
This celebrated Chinese philosopher’s question is well worth
contemplating. When you look at a butterfly, how do you know
that you yourself are not just a small part of that butterfly’s dream?
What makes you think that you are ‘alive’ right now? How can
you be sure that you are ‘living’? You can’t. All you can do is make
an assumption.
Think about it! How can you prove to yourself that you are
alive and that you exist? What can you do? One of the standard
methods for making sure you are not dreaming is to pinch yourself.
These days, some people try to feel more alive by cutting their
flesh, even their wrists. Less dramatically, others go shopping, or
get married, or provoke a fight with their spouse. There is nothing
to stop you from trying all of these methods. You can fight and cut
and pinch to your heart’s content, but nothing you do will prove,
categorically, that you are alive. Yet, along with most other human
beings, you continue to fear death.
This is what the Buddha called ‘fixation’. You fixate on the
methods you use to try to prove to yourself that you exist. Yet
everything you imagine yourself to be and everything you feel, see,
hear, taste, touch, value, judge and so on, is imputed – meaning
it has been conditioned by your environment, culture, family
and human values. By conquering these imputations and your
conditioning, you can also conquer your fear of death. This is what
Buddhists describe as freeing yourself from dualistic distinctions
which requires very little effort and absolutely no expenditure.
All you have to do is ask yourself:
How sure am I, right now, that I really am here?
How sure am I that I really am alive?
Merely asking these two questions will start poking holes in all
your imputed beliefs. The more holes you poke, the sooner you will
Zhuang Zou Dreaming of a Butterfly
be able to wriggle free from your conditioning; and by doing so,
you will have moved a great deal closer to what Buddhists describe
as ‘understanding shunyata’. Why do you need to understand
shunyata? Because by understanding and realising shunyata you
will finally conquer not only your numbing fear of death but also
the numbing assumption that you are alive.
None of your assumptions about who you are, who you makebelieve
you are, or the labels you attach to yourself is the real ‘you’;
it’s all guesswork. And it is this very guesswork – assumption,
make-believe, labelling and so on – that creates the illusion of
samsara. Although the world around you and the beings within it
‘appear’, none of it ‘exists’; it’s all a fabricated illusion. Once you
fully accept this truth – not just intellectually but practically –
you will become fearless. You will see that just as life is an illusion,
so is death. Even if you cannot fully realize this view, becoming
familiar with it will reduce your fear of death exponentially.
This point is worth repeating. Fear is unreasonable and
unnecessary, especially fear of death, and a huge chunk will
instantly dissolve once you have truly accepted that all that appears
and exists is merely a learned and fabricated illusion.
So, how do we come to accept that samsara is an illusion?
Life Is an Illusion
There are a number of methods available to those who are
eager to fully realize the illusory nature of life and death. In fact,
the sole aim of all the Buddha’s teachings is to realize that each
and every samsaric phenomenon is an illusion.
Start by listening to as much information as you can about
the illusions that are ‘life’ and ‘death’ – a subject none of us can
hear enough about. And don’t make the mistake of thinking that
listening and hearing are not authentic Dharma practices because
the opposite is true.
Next, contemplate what you have heard and learn more by
reading books.
Finally, and most importantly, try to get used to what you
have learned. How? There are many methods for getting used to
the idea that life is like a dream. The simplest and most effective is
to ask a few questions. Just ask. There’s no need to come up with
any answers.
Emulate Zhuang Zhou
Like Zhuang Zhou, gaze at a butterfly and ask yourself,
Is this butterfly dreaming me? Am I this butterfly’s dream?
Pinch Yourself
Pinch yourself – gently or roughly, it’s up to you – and
ask yourself,
Who is doing the pinching? Who is feeling the pinch?
Just Know and Watch Your Thoughts
At this very moment, you must be thinking something. As
you think it, just know you are thinking that thought.
If you are thinking a bad thought, don’t let it lead you to
think about another thought – good or bad. Whatever the
original bad thought, just watch it.
If you are thinking a good thought, just watch it.
If you are thinking about your car keys, just know that you
are thinking about your car keys.
As you think about the car keys, if you suddenly fancy a cup
of tea, just know that you are thinking about a cup of tea.
Don’t try to finish off the thought about the car keys.
If you feel overwhelmed by your fear of death, just look at it.
Don’t think about what you think you should be doing or
how you think you should be doing it.
These few exercises will, at the very least, help you understand
that a large part of your outer and inner world is nothing but
assumption and projection.
Relax Your Expectations
If you have neither the time nor the inclination to become
acquainted with the view that samsara is an illusion, try, while you
are still alive and healthy, not to get too attached to your plans,
hopes and expectations. At the very least, prepare yourself for the
possibility that nothing will work out. Everything good in your
life could, in the blink of an eye, become the exact opposite; and
everything you value could suddenly become worthless.
Imagine that your best friend moves to the other side of the
country. You meet very rarely and over time become emotionally
distant from each other. One day he writes something on social
media that offends you deeply, and suddenly he is your worst
enemy. Life is full of this kind of reality-check.
Becoming aware of how things change is a useful form of
mind training, and letting go of all your attachment to planning,
scheduling and expectation will reduce your fear of death
considerably. If you never experience disappointment or failure
while you are alive, when you find yourself at death’s door, you
will be terrified. Of course, by then it will be too late for you to
do anything for yourself. If you are lucky, your friends and family
might be willing to take responsibility for gathering the causes
and conditions to soothe and encourage you. And if you are very
lucky, they won’t try to deceive you into believing that you will
live forever. The best thing any of us can do for a dying person is
not to lie about what is happening to them.
Reduce Your Selfishness
Selfishness and greed cause the most intense kind of fear. We
will all be alone once we are dead, but if your habit is constantly
to act out your self-obsession in front of an admiring audience,
you will find the solitariness of death unbearable. Having become
so used to the admiration of sycophants who indulge your
every whim, when you find yourself entirely alone, you will be
overwhelmed by unimaginable fear. So, by reducing selfishness
you can reduce the intensity of your fear.
Reduce Your Attachment to Worldly Life
Some people are afraid of death because they are afraid of
physical pain. But not everyone dies in pain. Whether you do or
not will depend on your karma. As each person’s karma is quite
different, each person’s experience of death will be unique. Some
people will not realize they are dying. Others may not even realize
that they are dead and have been dead for days or weeks. Death
can strike suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, or agonizingly slowly.
And the vast majority of the pain suffered at death is caused by an
emotional attachment to life, possessions, friends, family, property
and fretting over unfinished business.
Since I was born
I have to die,
and so…
Kisei
Will nothing help at the moment of death?
Everything we human beings do, think and feel while we are
alive is driven by ignorance, emotion and karma. And it’s our
ignorance, emotion and karma that conspire to ensure that we
all have to face both birth and death entirely alone. We have no
choice. Once we have been born, nothing and no one can prevent
us from dying. The inevitability of death is initiated at birth and
we are powerless to resist it.
If you don’t want to experience the helplessness and loneliness
of death and rebirth, you must gather the causes and conditions
for never being reborn again while you are still alive.
At the moment of death, you may find yourself surrounded by
relatives and friends, but it is extremely unlikely that they will be
of any use to you – they may even make things worse. What if, as
you breathe your last, you realize that, like vultures, your greedy
relatives are already fighting over who gets what? That before your
corpse is cold they will be stripping your beautiful home of all its
treasures, hacking into your email accounts and breaking open
your safety deposit boxes. As they stand at your deathbed, they
may be squabbling over who gets your priceless Louis Quinze desk
and your worthless nephew may be leafing through one of your
precious first editions. Conversely, having those you love and who
love you at your bedside as you pass away could make the pain of
separation unbearable.
The gross human mind tends to think of death as the final
separation of body from mind. A more precise description is that
death marks the end of a period of time. Throughout so-called ‘life’,
we are therefore experiencing a continuous stream of ‘deaths’.
The death of death is birth; the death of birth is abiding; the
death of abiding is the birth of death. Everything you experience
is simultaneously a death and a birth and if you are subject to the
phenomenon called ‘time’, you will also be subject to death.
What is generally known as ‘life’ or ‘living’ is full of incident,
but death, which is perhaps the most significant of all life’s events,
is quite the opposite. If you were to die tonight you would lose your
identity and all your possessions, and not one of your plans would
materialize. This is why death is such a big issue. For most of us,
birth is far less of a worry and certainly nowhere near as frightening
as death. In fact, we love births. Once a baby has been born, we
congratulate the parents, then relentlessly commemorate its birthday
for the rest of its life. An entire industry is now dedicated to servicing
birthdays: birthday cakes, birthday parties, birthday surprises and,
of course, birthday cards are all available at the click of a button.
Without having to lift a finger, social media makes it impossible for
any of us to forget a single birthday – not even the cat’s.
Unlike us, the great Mahayana masters thought of birth as a
much greater hurdle to overcome than death. Nagarjuna, the great
Indian scholar and mahasiddha, told his friend, the king
, that for
a spiritual person, birth is far more disturbing and a much bigger
issue than death could ever be.
So, why do spiritual people value death over birth? Birth is the
one event in this life over which we have absolutely no control.
We pop out of our mothers’ bodies without having been asked a
single question. We have no say about where we are born, who our
parents are, the day and hour of our birth, or even if we should be
born in the first place. Every aspect is out of our hands.
The knowledge that we have been born is of no help whatsoever
at any stage in our lives, whereas the knowledge that death is
inevitable continually urges us to appreciate what we have right
now. Knowing that we must die helps us to make the most of life.
Knowing that death is imminent and certain is what makes it
possible for us to love and to remain sane. It also prevents us from
becoming desensitized and numbed by worldly life. For most of
us, life is intoxicating; thinking about death is perhaps the only
method available that can truly sober us up.
If you have been born, you will have to die; and if you are
about to die, you will have to be reborn. How do we cut this cyclic
game of birth and death? By realizing a state of awakening. Once
you have been ‘awakened’ or become ‘enlightened’, you will no
longer gather the causes and conditions that result in death and
rebirth. But until then, you will be reborn and you will die, over
and over and over again.
As birth and death are inseparable, we should mourn birth just
as much as we mourn death. Especially these days. Just think for
one second about what your children will have to go through as
adults. One day, your daughter will walk into a department store
and become mesmerized by all manner of tantalizing phenomena –
just the glossy red lipsticks alone will be utterly thrilling, not to
mention the stationery. After that, there will be no avoiding the
world of gourmet coffee and Starbucks, or fashion and wellness
resorts, or bank balances and the concept of money. Wow! Her
life will be tough.
Is There an Upside to Death?
Facing death helps us appreciate what it is to be alive, but hardly
anyone thinks like that these days. Most modern people live
blindly, completely ignoring the inevitability and unpredictability
of death.
Buddha Nature
According to Buddhadharma, death teaches us one extremely
positive truth: that the nature of each and every sentient being’s
mind is the Buddha; that the nature of my mind and the nature of
your mind is the Buddha.
Buddha nature isn’t some exotic New Age theory or occult
phenomenon. Because you have buddha nature, whatever you do,
wherever you are, the essence of your mind is the Buddha.
Feel the texture of the book or device you are holding, listen
to what is going on around you, feel the softness of the cushion
under your buttocks or the weight of your body on the soles of
your feet. Think about the words you are reading: the essence of
your mind is the Buddha.
The mind that does everything I have just mentioned – your
own very ordinary mind – is the Buddha. Not only is your mind
the Buddha, the ordinary mind of every sentient being that is aware,
reads, sees, hears, tastes, and so on, is also the Buddha.
Think of a glass of muddy water. Even though the water itself
is pure and clear, when stirred, it mixes with the mud and what we
see is muddy water. In the same way, our basic lack of mindfulness
and awareness stirs up all manner of thoughts and emotions that
then mingle with and muddy our pure, clear mind.
Watch Your Mind
You can experience how this works right now. Stop reading for
three minutes and look at your mind.
Now, ask yourself:
How long was it before a thought popped into your mind?
How long before you started thinking about that thought?
And how long before you were completely lost in that thought?
The process of one thought leading to another is a familiar
one. Imagine you are waiting for a friend to pick you up to take
you to a party. You start feeling excited the moment you hear the
toot of a car horn. Who will be at the party? What will the food
be like? Will there be party games? Will it be fun? And before you
have even set foot outside your front door, let alone arrived at the
party, you are already lost in thought.
Most of us lack any form of mindfulness and so we never see
how our minds get entangled in our emotions and our bodies’
gross preoccupations about friends, family, values, philosophies,
political systems, money, possessions and relationships. For our
entire lives, the awareness that is our buddha nature is blinded,
diluted, befuddled, blurred and dulled by unfettered thoughts,
until we become so swamped with feelings, confusions,
expectations and complications that it’s as if the nature of the
mind didn’t exist.
At the moment of death, whether you are a seasoned Buddhist
practitioner, the CEO of Google, a Wall Street trader or a materialist
of any kind, the natural process of dying will force your mind to
separate from everything you have ever known. Obviously, this
means separation from your friends, family, house, the park and
the gym, but it also means separation from the one thing that has
been with you for your entire life, hours a day, seven days a
week, even while you sleep: your body. When you die, your whole
body, including its most subtle elements (earth, water, fire, air,
space) and senses must be left behind.
While you are alive, everything you think you see, hear, taste,
touch, and so on, is filtered through your senses – your eyes, ears,
tongue, body, and so on. By the time your mind experiences a
perception, not only will it have passed through your sense organs
and consciousness, it will also have been conditioned by your
education and culture. This filtering process is what makes much
of life possible.
Imagine you wake up one morning to find yourself in a strange
place. Directly in front of you is a cream-coloured wall on which
two black semi-circles and two circles have been painted. Instantly,
based on your education and exposure to advertising, your mind
interprets what it sees as ‘COCO’. (Especially if you are ‘nouveau
riche’ and know nothing about perfume. Not having yet heard of
D.S. & Durga, you may still believe that Coco Chanel is the best
perfume in the world.)
While we are alive, everything we perceive is interpreted by
our conditioning and education – or lack of it. This is how we can
name familiar smells, like sandalwood, lavender and the stink of
stale urine in a public lavatory. It is also how we identify things. If
dead oak leaves were crumbled up to look like tea and packed in
a Fortnum and Mason’s box labelled with an exotic name, many
people would rush to buy it without even considering what it
tastes like.
At death, the laws of nature shear away your physical senses
and mind is left naked and entirely alone. As you no longer have
Statue of Buddha in Seoraksan National Park, South Korea
eyes made of flesh and blood, everything you perceive is raw and
unfiltered. Without eyes to filter your perceptions, ‘COCO’ on
the cream wall will look quite different.
Buddhism tells us that for a spiritual practitioner this moment
of complete nakedness – the moment of death – is extremely
precious. At death, the forces of nature actually help us to
appreciate, recognize and grab hold of the innate nature that has
always been within us – the Buddha. The moment of death is
especially precious if the practitioner is already acquainted with
the nature of mind. This is why Buddhists develop the skills and
abilities they will need to make the most of the opportunities that
death naturally brings, while they are still alive.
The moment of death is especially crucial for Tantrikas because
even though you failed to achieve enlightenment while you were
alive, you have developed the skills you will need to succeed at the
moment of death.
The Certainty and Uncertainty of Death
For better or for worse, once we have stumbled into life through
the process we call ‘birth’, the only thing we can be certain about
is that we will die. But what none of us know for sure is precisely
when death will happen, and it is this unsettling juxtaposition
that makes death so fascinating to contemplate. The certainty
that we will die is bad enough, but the uncertainty about when we
will die is far worse – like buying an expensive Tiffany necklace
but not knowing if you will ever get the chance to wear it.
Paradoxically, uncertainty about the time of death is what forces
us to make plans. It is because we are so unsure and uncomfortable
that we fill our days with appointments. But however carefully we
plan, there is no guarantee that anything will actually happen.
Just by agreeing to see a friend in London on Friday doesn’t mean
the meeting will take place – any number of imponderables could
get in the way. None of your plans are likely to work out exactly
as you expect; not your children’s future, or your grandparents’
retirement, or your new flat, or that perfect business deal, or your
dream holiday. They could fail completely, or succeed beyond your
wildest dreams – after all, the unexpected isn’t necessarily bad. The
point is that whatever you do, however much effort you put into
planning and scheduling, you can never be sure that any of it will
happen. However strong your blind belief that everything always
works out for the best, it rarely does. So the suffering you feel when
your agenda collapses is entirely self-inflicted.
Making plans and appointments is also a very efficient way
of consuming your future. Think about it. Every minute you set
aside for a meeting or an activity is used up long before it even
arrives. And by making that appointment, you will now have the
additional suffering of having to make sure your plan pans out.
One of the main reasons we practise the Dharma is to prepare
ourselves for certain death. For some, it is the only reason they
practise – but that reason alone will make their Dharma practice
worthwhile. These days various aspects of the Dharma, like
mindfulness, are becoming more and more popular, but rarely as
a preparation for death and definitely not as a preparation for what
lies beyond death. Modern people meditate for every reason under
the sun except the most important one. How many vipassana
students meditate to prepare for death? And how many practise
because they want to put an end to the cycle of death and rebirth
for good? Most people meditate because they want to become
better managers, or find partners, or feel happy, or because they
long for a calm, stress-free mind and life. For them, meditation
is a way of preparing for life, not death and is therefore no less
mundane than their other worldly pursuits, like shopping, eating
out, exercising and socializing.
If all you care about is learning how to relax and unwind,
meditation is probably not your best option. Smoke a cigar
instead; it’s a far easier and more immediately effective way of
relaxing yourself than meditation. Pour yourself a good single
malt. Or browse through your social media pages. Sitting crosslegged
with a straight back as you watch yourself breathe in and
out is not only extremely boring but, for many of us, quickly
becomes physically painful. Most ‘meditators’ end up spending
more time worrying about whether they really are being mindful
than actually practising. And all that worrying can’t be good for
your blood pressure, can it?
Life is full of surprises. If you are reading this book to prepare
yourself for the death of a terminally ill loved one, however young
and healthy you are, there is no guarantee that it won’t be you who
dies first. So, your best bet is to be ready for anything and fully
aware of the realities of samara. But if, instead, you hang on to
your blind expectations and assumptions, if you remain oblivious
to how things really are, if you are greedy, stupidly laid-back,
and if you continue to count on all your worldly plans working
out perfectly, when the worst happens, your suffering will be
excruciating and you won’t be able to do a thing about it.
Preparation for
Death and Beyond
The Buddha said that the supreme mindfulness is remembering
that life is impermanent and death inevitable.
Of all footprints
That of the elephant is supreme;
Of all mindfulness meditations
That on death is supreme.
Some people know intuitively that their lives are coming to
an end. Even though they are healthy and young and there is no
logical reason for them to die, they sense that death is near. Others
know they will die because they have been diagnosed with an
incurable, terminal disease. Unless they are spiritual pracititioners,
this is when most people panic, become depressed and lose hope.
But instead of panicking, most spiritual practitioners recognize
that death is their big chance to step up, enhance their Dharma
practice, and wind down all the meaningless activities that fill
their worldly lives.
Whether you know you only have a few months to live or
think you have your whole life ahead of you, death is a reality that
will have to be faced sooner or later. And as far as the Buddhist
teachings are concerned, the sooner you face it, the better.
Face the Fact That You Will Die
Death destroys a man: the idea of Death saves him.
E.M. Forster
The first thing to do is convince yourself that, even though you
have no idea when it will happen, you will die.
People die every day. We all find ourselves standing at the
deathbed of a loved one at some point in our lives. Yet, how many
of us really believe that death will happen to us?
A common reaction to receiving the news that we are about to
die is to feel cheated and hard done by. Subconsciously we think,
“Why is this happening to me? And why now? I’m young, not
years old! If I were old, I’d understand because obviously it would be
my time to die. But why now? My life has hardly begun!”
So your first preparation for death is to convince yourself that,
although you have no idea when it will happen, it is absolutely
certain that you will die.
Secondly, you are not the only person who has ever had to face
death. We will all have to die, so there is nothing unfair about it.
… whenever you think, “I am dying!” visualize the Guru,
Lord of Sages, on the crown of your head and generate
intense faith. Then think: “It is not only me: all sentient
beings are subject to the law of death, no-one is exempt.
Although we have repeatedly undergone countless births
and deaths here in samsara, we have only ever known the
suffering of death and all these births have been entirely
devoid of meaning. But now I will make sure that this
present death of mine is meaningful!”
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
The process of dying begins the moment we are born. No
one expects a baby to slip out of its mother and make a will. But
as you get older – at perhaps, or better still, – you should
think carefully about what you want to do and achieve before
you die.
Live Life to the Full
Try to enjoy your life. Go to Machu Picchu, or Madagascar, or
wherever you have always dreamed of visiting. Be realistic about
what you need to buy and own. Ask yourself, do I really need
another Ferrari? Do I really need that much money in the bank?
Remind yourself that taking care of expensive toys and bank
accounts often creates more stress than joy – unless, of course,
you take great pleasure in philanthropy and are planning to put
your abundant cash to good use.
Start to look at and relate to everything and everyone around
you as if you were seeing them for the last time.
Deal with all the outstanding problems or disputes within
your family and among friends; now is the time to sort out any
misunderstandings and resolve lingering bad feeling.
Above all, the best preparation for death is to live a full life. Enjoy
the most delicious tea in the world, made properly and not drunk
out of plastic cups. Wear the clothes you have always longed to wear.
Read the books you have always wanted to read. Do everything you
have always wanted to do, however outrageous or obnoxious. And
do it now, because you may never get another chance.
Shop Consciously and Make a Will
We human beings love our creature comforts and every one of
us wants to be happy. It’s why we put so much effort into stockpiling
money and material goods. Isn’t it ironic that everything we do for
the sake of comfort and ease ends up being the source of endless
stress and heartache.
If you own money and property, decide how it should be
used once you are dead; settle your material affairs and make a
will. Perhaps you could give your worldly goods and house to
your children, or nieces, or cousins? Or to a save-the-leopard
foundation? Or to cancer research?
Try to act more consciously. When you shop, be clear-headed.
Stop buying and hoarding useless objects – don’t be a ‘packrat’. If
you want to plan and make long-term investments, do it in the full
knowledge that you could die before those investments mature.
Family Ties
For many of us, family relationships cause the most problems,
especially as we approach death. In places like China, the family
continues to be a very powerful social unit. To this day, traditional
ideas about family roles perpetuate rigid and often repressive
cultural and social expectations. Fathers must always fulfill the
obligations that Chinese fathers have always fulfilled, and children
must live, as Chinese children always have lived, to please their
parents. But how beneficial are these family entanglements?
Parents are expected to provide for their children, no matter
what it takes. But is obsessive parental devotion what children
really need? Does it do them any good? Having dedicated at least
two decades to bringing up their children, many Chinese parents
then have to deal with yet another level of family entanglement
when grandchildren start appearing. Shouldn’t there be some kind
of sell-by date on all-consuming family involvements?
Chinese children are under just as much pressure to live up to
social expectations as their parents, including taking responsibility
for their parents as they get older. But actually, anyone who aspires
to be a decent human should willingly do all they can to care for
their parents, family and friends.
Of course, there is no reason not to enjoy family life, but in
terms of preparing for death, try to participate consciously. Always
remember that sooner or later you will die and, in that light, try
to watch yourself as you navigate family life. If that ‘watcher’ is
always conscious of how you behave, think and act, your family
obligations and attachments will be less limiting.
Whatever you do, always remember that death, which is
unpredictable but certain, is just around the corner, and that
when you die, you die alone. So try to use the ‘watcher’ to help
you avoid getting bogged down in too many knotty, emotional
family complications.
Chant om mani padme hum
The ideal preparation for death is to study all Buddha’s teachings
about refuge, bodhichitta and dependent arising in great detail.
Unfortunately, most modern people don’t have time to study. So,
what can you do? You can chant om mani padme hum. Those
of you who are more familiar with Chinese Buddhist tradition
could chant namo guan shi yin pusa; or if you prefer a Japanese
Buddhist tradition, on arorikya sowaka. If you are more drawn
to the Thai Theravadin tradition, you could chant buddho
.
Whether you are a Buddhist or not, the moment of death itself
is crucial. This is when you will need to do the simplest and most
powerful of practices, which is to chant om mani padme hum. So,
as a preparation for the moment of your own death, why not start
chanting om mani padme hum now. If you wish, you can suggest
this method to anyone who also wants to prepare themselves for
death. It really helps.
What makes the om mani padme hum mantra so powerful?
The cause of all our pain and suffering in this human existence is
not knowing that life and death are illusions; or to put it another
way, that the bardos of life and death are mere projections. We
imagine that everything we see and experience truly exists, then
we misinterpret our perceptions and, as a result, we suffer. The six
syllables of om mani padme hum are directly connected with the
‘six doors of projection’. And it is through these six doors that we
create the projections that make up the illusions of life, death and
the bardos.
What Is ‘Bardo’?
‘Bardo’ is a Tibetan word that means ‘in between’ and is
sometimes translated as ‘intermediate state’. To put it very simply,
a bardo is what lies in between two illusory boundaries. For
example, this very moment lies between the boundaries of the
past and the future; in other words, today lies between yesterday
and tomorrow. At the same time, we must always remember that
everything is an illusion, including the bardos, so there are no
truly existing borders dividing the past from the present or the
present from the future. This is important.
One of the most significant and profound of all bardos lies
between the beginning of the period during which we are
completely unaware of the existence of our inherent buddha
nature and the moment we awaken to it, which Buddhists describe
as ‘enlightenment’. In other words, everything that happens in
between ‘not recognizing’ and ‘recognizing’ buddha nature is
called a ‘bardo’. Within this vast bardo are myriad smaller bardos,
including the ‘bardo of this life’. This bardo is crucially important
to ordinary people like us because it is where we have the most
opportunity to choose or change our direction.
The six doors of projection create our experience of each of the
six realms . Projections and experiences caused by desire and need
lead to the human realm; pride leads to the god realm; jealousy
leads to the asura realm; confusion and a lack of awareness lead to
the animal realm; miserliness and greed lead to the preta realm –
the realm of the ‘hungry ghosts’; and anger leads to the hell
realms. While we are alive, human beings continually experience
each one of these projections and therefore don’t need to imagine
what rebirth in the other realms might be like.
Take Refuge
If your spiritual tastes incline towards Buddhism, an extremely
effective and important preparation for death is to take refuge in
the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha – ideally from now until you
attain enlightenment.
People sometimes ask if it is necessary for them to go to India
or the Himalayas to find a guru so that they can take refuge
properly. No, it isn’t.
What is taking refuge? The heart of taking refuge is trust.
You take refuge by making a conscious decision to trust that the
Dharma is the irrefutable truth. You choose to believe in the truth
that all compounded things are impermanent, all emotions are
pain, and so on . And you choose to surrender to the truth of the
The Buddha Statue in the Mahabodhi Stupa at Bodhgaya, India
Dharma, to the Buddha (who taught that truth), and to the Sangha
(your fellow practitioners who have also surrendered to that truth).
Once you have wholeheartedly and unconditionally surrendered to
the truth of the Triple Gem, you will have taken refuge.
You don’t have to go through the traditional ritual of
taking refuge if you don’t want to, but many people find that
participating in a ceremony helps enhance their appreciation
of what taking refuge really is. Ritual also gives you the
confidence to believe that you really have surrendered to the
truth. But unless you particularly want to, you don’t have to
take refuge in the presence of a Buddhist master, monk or nun.
Your witness can be anyone who has taken refuge themselves –
like your next-door neighbour. All they have to do is recite the verses
of refuge, which you then repeat out loud. The crucial aspect of this
ritual is that as you recite the verse, you must mean what you say.
Of course, the presence of a witness or your teacher may help you
strengthen your resolve to study and practise, but their involvement
is not strictly necessary. If you prefer, you can take refuge alone. All
you have to do is recite a refuge verse in the presence of a statue or
a painting of the Buddha, or simply imagine that the Buddha is in
front of you and mentally take refuge in the Triple Gem.
How to Take Refuge Simply
Start by placing a Buddhist text, such as an Abhidhamma or a
Prajnaparamita sutra, on a clean table. If you have a statue of the
Buddha, place it next to the sutra.
If you wish, you can kneel in front of the statue and the book,
with your hands folded in prayer. This is just a suggestion and
entirely optional. If kneeling in this way would be an affront to
your cultural upbringing, or you just don’t want to do it, then don’t.
You can elaborate this ritual, if you wish, by offering a flower
or burning incense. But again, such offerings are entirely optional.
Think to yourself or say out loud:
I surrender to the truth that:
All compounded things are impermanent – this body of mine
will die;
All emotions are pain – as each of my emotions is stained by
hope and fear it is unreliable;
All phenomena have no inherently existent nature – whatever I
think I see is my own projection and not how things truly are.
I surrender to this truth, the Dharma;
I surrender to the One who expounded this truth, the Buddha;
And I surrender to the system that abides according to the laws
of this truth, the Sangha.
If you need the reassurance of a traditional refuge formula, recite
whichever verse you like best, or all of them, it’s up to you.
Namo Buddhāya guruve
Namo Dharmāya tāyine
Namo Saṃghāya mahate tribhyopi
Satataṃ namaḥ
Homage to the Buddha, the teacher;
Homage to the Dharma, the protector;
Homage to the great Sangha –
To all three, I continually offer homage.
Buddhaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Dharmaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Samghaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the Dharma.
I take refuge in the Sangha.
In the Buddha, the Dharma and the Supreme Assembly
I take refuge until I attain enlightenment.
Through the merit of practising generosity, and so on,
May I attain buddhahood for the benefit of all beings.
Until the essence of enlightenment is reached,
I go for refuge to the Buddhas.
Also I take refuge in the Dharma
And in all the host of Bodhisattvas.
For those who prefer a Taiwanese tradition
From now until the end of my life, I [your name],
Take refuge in the Buddha,
Take refuge in the Dharma,
Take refuge in the Sangha. ( times)
I have taken refuge with the Buddha.
I have taken refuge with the Dharma.
I have taken refuge with the Sangha. ( times)
For those who prefer a mainland Chinese tradition
I return to and rely on the Buddha, vowing that all living beings
Profoundly understand the great Way, and bring forth the
Bodhi mind.
I return to and rely on the Dharma, vowing that all living beings
Enter deeply into Treasury of Sutra Treasury, and that their
wisdom is as vast as the sea.
I return to and rely on the Sangha, vowing that all living beings
Form a great assembly, in harmony with one and all.
I take refuge in the Buddha, so I do not fall into the realm of
hell beings.
I take refuge in the Dharma, so I do not to fall into the realm of
hungry ghosts.
I take refuge in the Sangha, so I do not to fall into the realm
of animals.
I vow not to seek the bliss of the realms of human or heavenly
beings, nor the fruition of the shravaka or pratyekabuddha, nor
the fruition of the bodhisattva of an expedient stage, but to seek
to attain supreme enlightenment together with all living beings.
I take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, until
I attain enlightenment. By the merit I have accumulated through
the practise of generosity and the other perfections, may
I attain enlightenment for the benefit of all migrators.
May the state be at peace while armed revolts are quelled.
May the wind and rain be temperate so that people
enjoy well-being and ease.
May this well-disciplined assembly wish to accomplish an
advantageous advance.
May everyone traverse the ten bodhisattva stages
with no difficulty.
Living beings are boundless, I vow to save them all;
Afflictions are endless, I vow to serve them all;
Dharma doors are limitless, I vow to study them all;
The Buddha Way is unsurpassed, I vow to obtain it.
May this merit and virtue,
Repay the four kindnesses above,
And aid those in the three realms of sufferings below.
May all who see or hear this, bring forth the Bodhi mind.
For those who prefer a Japanese tradition:
on saraba tatagyata hanna mannano nau kyaromi
I pay my homage to the feet of all the Tathagatas.
on bochi shitta boda hada yami
om
I arouse the bodhicitta ‘decision to obtain enlightenment’.
namo
Until I and all beings attain enlightenment,
I take refuge in the three roots.
To attain buddhahood for the benefit of others,
I arouse aspiration, action and absolute bodhichitta.
For those who prefer the Pali tradition:
Buddhaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Dharmaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Samghaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Dutiyampi Buddhaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Dutiyampi Dharmaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Dutiyampi Samghaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Tatiyampi Buddhaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Tatiyampi Dharmaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
Tatiyampi Samghaṃ sharaṇaṃ gacchāmi
I go to the Buddha as my refuge.
I go to the Dhamma, the Teachings, as my refuge.
I go to the Sangha, the Community, as my refuge.
For the second time I go to the Buddha as my refuge.
For the second time I go to the Dhamma, the Teachings,
as my refuge.
For the second time I go to the Sangha, the Community,
as my refuge.
For the third time I go to the Buddha as my refuge.
For the third time I go to the Dhamma, the Teachings,
as my refuge.
For the third time I go to the Sangha, the Community,
as my refuge.
The Bodhisattva Vow
If you decide you want to take refuge, why not make the most
of the opportunity and make the bodhisattva’s vow at the same
time. A bodhisattva is someone who consciously longs to bring
all sentient beings to enlightenment and ultimate happiness, then
dedicates their lives towards making that long-term goal a reality.
All the great bodhisattvas of the past have taken the bodhisattva
vow, which is an even more powerful way of preparing for death
than just taking refuge. By vowing to guide all sentient beings to
enlightenment, you become actively involved in the grandest of
all spiritual visions. No matter how long it takes, no matter how
many difficulties you must face, you willingly vow to die and be
reborn billions of times in order to fulfill your goal.
Great Wisdom Sutra from the Chū sonji Temple Sutra Collection
Making the bodhisattva vow can also help you reassure yourself
that you really have stepped onto the path of the bodhisattva.
Often, we make this vow ceremonially, in front of witnesses, but
you can also make it entirely alone – it’s up to you.
If you decide to make the vow formally, sit cross-legged with a
straight back. If you would rather do it informally and don’t want
to sit cross-legged, make it as you walk around or as you sit in your
office. Again, it’s up to you which method you use.
Start by arousing the two crucial aspects of bodhichitta in your
mind: your ultimate goal, which is to awaken all sentient beings
from ignorance by bringing them to enlightenment; and the
determination never to stop working towards making universal
enlightenment a reality.
Promise wholeheartedly never to stop working towards
the realization of bodhichitta and declare unequivocally that
nothing and no one will get in your way – not death and not
rebirth. However enormous the tasks involved, you are absolutely
determined to accomplish the enlightenment of all sentient beings,
come what may. Your determination is so great that your own
death at the end of this life will be little more than a hiccup in the
process and will not affect your overall plan one iota.
The Bodhisattva Vow
Just as all the Buddhas of the past
Have brought forth the awakened mind,
And in the precepts of the Bodhisattvas
Step-by-step abode and trained,
Likewise, for the benefit of beings,
I will bring to birth the awakened mind,
And in those precepts, step-by-step,
I will abide and train myself.
In fact, as the vast majority of sentient beings are absolutely
terrified of dying, why not turn your own fear of death into a path.
Think to yourself:
All sentient beings live under the shadow of the fear of death.
May I take on all their fear myself.
I know this life is nearly over,
I know that I will die soon, and
I know that in the future
I will experience death a million times over.
But whatever happens,
May my wish to enlighten all sentient beings
And my bodhisattva activities never wane.
I am a bodhisattva.
I am a child of the Buddha.
Like all sentient beings
I have buddha nature;
The difference is that I know I have buddha nature,
Whereas most other sentient beings do not.
Fully equipped with the Buddha’s precious Dharma,
I will joyfully fulfill my duty as a bodhisattva,
And bring all sentient beings to enlightenment.
In the same way that there are many traditional refuge prayers
to choose from there are also many bodhicitta practices, like the
following practice from Taiwan.
Arousing Bodhichitta
In ‘Great Treatise on the Perfection of Wisdom’
(Mahāprajnāpāramitāśāstra), love and compassion are included in
the Four Immeasurables. They are called ‘love immeasurable’ and
‘compassion immeasurable’ respectively. The Four Immeasurables
Bodhisattvas come in all shapes, sizes and species,
and from all walks of life… and death.
is a very important daily practice in Tibetan Buddhism. Many Tibetan
Buddhists recite it for their whole life.
The Four Immeasurables
May all sentient beings have happiness and the causes
of happiness.
May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the
causes of suffering.
May all sentient beings never be separated from the
happiness that has no suffering.
May all sentient beings live in equanimity, free from
attachment and aversion.
The Bodhisattva Vow
The essence of the bodhisattva vow is to prompt the aspiration
to supreme bodhichitta. The principle of bodhichitta is:
The Four Vast Vows
Sentient beings are countless; I vow to deliver them all.
Afflictions are endless; I vow to eradicate them all.
Dharma means are immeasurable; I vow to learn them all.
Buddha Bodhi is unsurpassed; I vow to attain it.
Always Walking the Bodhisattva Path
May the three kinds of hindrances and all afflictions
be eliminated.
May I gain wisdom and true understanding.
May all hindrances caused by negative thoughts and actions
be removed.
May I always walk the Bodhisattva Way, life after life.
Dedication
May the merit and virtue accrued from this work be dedicated to
[the name of the deceased],
Requite the fourfold kindness from above,
And relieve the suffering of the three life-paths below.
May all those who see and hear of this
Activate Bodhichitta,
And when this retribution body is over,
Be born together in the Land of Ultimate Bliss.
Aspiration
I wish to be reborn in the Western Pure Land.
I wish to have the lotus of nine grades as my parents.
When the flower opens, I will see the Buddha
And realize that dharmas have no birth.
The Bodhisattvas who never regress will be my companions.
Think Big
From a Buddhist point of view, the best way to prepare for death is
to enter into the immense vision of bodhichitta and to think big.
By doing so, the power of your practice will escalate exponentially.
One of the main problems most of us have with our view of
life and death is that we don’t think big. Too many of us – even
Buddhists – are small-minded and petty. By arousing and applying
bodhichitta, our limited perception of the world and everything
in it becomes far more expansive. Small-minded people only think
about themselves, this life and their immediate environment. On
the few occasions they manage to think beyond themselves, it
is rarely further than their own family. Only when death draws
near do such people begin to realize just how narrow and selfish
their lives have been, how few of their achievements had any real
or lasting value, and how many of the projects that took up so
much of their time and energy were either entirely insignificant or
failed to come to fruition. From this point of view, if there were
just one life, death really would be a ‘now or never’ situation. So
is it any wonder that at death the small-minded are convinced
that they are doomed to eternal failure? What they lack is a longterm
vision and purpose that ranges over many lifetimes. If they
were to develop the determination to bring all sentient beings to
enlightenment, however many lifetimes it takes, they would feel
quite differently.
So try to think beyond your immediate circle of family and
friends. Develop a genuine concern for the welfare of all living
beings, including strangers and especially your enemies. And bear
in mind that, in the context of the ultimate goal of a bodhisattva,
taking care of the welfare of others is far more than merely making
sure that everyone has enough to eat and a roof over their heads.
Caring for others is to fervently wish and pray that every single
sentient being attains enlightenment. By making this wish again
and again, your view will gradually become more and more
expansive. This is how you learn to ‘think big’.
Simple Practices
to Prepare for Death
• An English translation of the Ritual of the Bodhisattva Vow according to
the tradition of Patrul Rinpoche is available for download at: www.
lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/patrul-rinpoche/bodhisattva-vow
∑
Woody Allen is often quoted as having said:
I’m not afraid of dying – I just don’t want to be there when
it happens.
Unfortunately for Woody Allen, he is likely to be far more
‘there’ and aware at the moment of death than he was at any other
time in his life. So, what would I say to someone like Woody Allen
about how to prepare for death?
If he were open to it, I would mention bodhichitta’s big vision
of love, compassion and the wish to enlighten all sentient beings.
I would also tell him that everything we see, hear, touch and so
on – including birth and death – is a projection created by our
own minds.
I would then take him step-by-step through a mindfulness
practice so that he could get used to the idea that everything is an
illusion projected by mind.
Mindfulness Practice
Woody, look at your coffee. Just look at it.
If, as you look at your coffee, you find yourself thinking about
your car, just bring your mind back to your coffee. Try doing this
a few times.
If you wish, you can now go a step further.
Instead of focusing on your coffee, look at the thought
that is passing through your mind at this very moment.
Just stare at that thought. Merely observe it.
Don’t allow the thought to become entangled in your next
thought. Don’t analyse the thought, don’t reject it, don’t adopt it
and don’t take it seriously.
A thought doesn’t have to be interesting for it to be worth
staring at. Even if the thought is the most mundane, banal and
boring thought that ever popped into your mind, just stare at it,
without trying to adjust or improve it.
This is what I would say to Woody Allen. And I’d say it again
and again.
By putting my advice into practice, Woody, you will realize
just how powerful mind really is. You will also see for yourself
that it is mind that continuously creates projections, and mind
that instantly forgets what it has just done. You will see how mind
starts believing that everything it perceives outside of itself is real
and ‘there’, then forgets that it created those projections itself.
Once mind is convinced that everything is ‘outside’ and
‘separate’, it starts learning how to alienate itself from its own
projections. Convinced that it is entirely separate from what it
sees, mind projects all kinds of ideas and concepts that it then goes
in search of. So it is mind that projects the concept of ‘god’, and
mind that then chases around in circles trying to find that god.
Mind is such a masochist! It’s as if it wants to feel alienated from
god, just to have something to pray to.
Once you realize that everything you see is projected by
your own mind, you are well on the way to understanding that
‘everything’ necessarily includes birth, death, living and dying.
This information and practice will help loosen your grip on your
ideas about what ‘living’ really is. You will begin to realize that life
and living are simply part of yet another illusion.
Having said all that, Woody, I strongly recommend that you
now go to your favourite jazz club and listen to the music you
love. Don’t waste time! Spend all your money doing everything
you have always wanted to do. And try to make others happy too,
because making others happy will make you happy.
This is what I would say to Woody Allen.
Apply Awareness
As every moment of life also involves a small death, life itself
provides us with many opportunities for glimpsing death. Most
people these days are so distracted that few manage to make
the most of these opportunities. Nevertheless, there is a way of
relating to life’s small deaths that will help you prepare for the
death of your body at the end of this life.
All you have to do is notice that there is a death in everything
you do and in every moment – in a relationship, a marriage, a way
of life, an almost empty cup of coffee.
In many ways, this method sounds too simple to be truly
effective. Yet this mere awareness is the key to understanding that
death is part of every moment in life.
Learn how to be aware without feeling that you always have to
do something. Just notice.
Ironically, the changes and deaths we experience in life bring
us far more good than bad. Even so, we always make such a big
drama about everything, especially the changes we label as ‘bad’.
So learn to enjoy and appreciate life instead of brooding about the
things you have absolutely no control over.
Sleep Practice
Whatever your belief or spiritual practice, always aspire to
recognize that your dreams are just dreams. Know as you dream
that you are dreaming. The big mistake we all make in every one
of our many lives is to imagine that everything we experience is
real. Stop making that mistake!
As you fall asleep, simulate the moment of death by forcing
yourself to believe that you are about to die. If you wish, try the
following method, which is based on the practice of aspiration.
For Non-Buddhists
As you lie down to go to sleep, think to yourself: tonight I may
die. This may be it. I may never wake up again.
Forgive those you need to forgive.
Forget everything that should be forgotten.
Bring to mind anything that calms and relaxes you – it could
be a falling leaf or a quacking duck.
More importantly, make the wish that you and every other
sentient being will have and experience all that is good. In fact, if
you can focus on caring for others more than yourself, not only
will it bring you great joy, it will simultaneously ensure that you
yourself are well looked after.
Reclining Buddha
As you fall asleep, your awareness of your body – what your
eyes see, what your nose smells, what your tongue tastes, and so
on – will be detached by sleep.
When you next wake up, imagine you have been reborn and
that a new life has just begun.
Observe how you reconnect with your senses and sense objects.
Notice the song of the blackbird, smell your stale morning
breath, taste your night-time mouth taste.
Think to yourself:
The world I have awoken into will not last forever.
Look at your new table and that packet of exquisite, unopened
Japanese stationery. Use them both and appreciate them now – it
may be your last chance.
For Buddhists
If you wish, follow an old Buddhist tradition and imagine that
all the buddhas and bodhisattvas have gathered on your pillow.
Then, just before you lie down, offer them a prostration.
If you would like to emulate the Buddha’s famous reclining
position, lie on your right side as you go to sleep.
Think:
I want to make good use of this night’s sleep.
I surrender to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.
I want this night’s sleep to be beneficial and meaningful for both
myself and others.
As you fall asleep, think:
I am dying;
My consciousness of my senses is dissolving.
As you wake up, think:
I have been reborn.
I long to make good use of this fleeting life
For the benefit of myself and others.
For Tantrikas
Aspire to perceive and experience the luminosity of simple
cognisance. As the process of falling asleep offers an excellent
opportunity for recognizing this luminosity, make strong aspirations
to simply ‘cognize’. At death, all your sensory mechanisms will
dissolve, which means this ‘simple cognisance’ will be entirely
unbothered by your senses or your reaction to sense objects. All
that will be left is your mind.
So, bearing in mind the sleep practice that has already been
described, visualize a lotus at the centre of your heart on which
sits your guru, who is the embodiment of all the Buddhas. Then,
as you fall asleep, just think about your guru.
How Buddhists
Prepare for Death
Empty-handed I entered the world
Barefoot I leave it.
My coming, my going —
Two simple happenings
That got entangled.
Kozan Ichikyo
Buddhists view death as a tremendous spiritual opportunity,
but why?
Without having to do anything at all, the processes we naturally
go through as we die will bring us face-to-face with the ground
of liberation. The great Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche famously
described this ground as the “basic goodness of a human being”.
At the moment of death, mind separates from body and, for a split
second, every one of us experiences the nakedness of our buddha
nature, tathagatagarbha. In that split second, if the ground of
liberation is pointed out and we recognize it, we will be liberated.
To put it another way, if you die in a conducive environment, if
a qualified person is present at the moment of death to introduce
you to your buddha nature, and if you are receptive to that
introduction, you may be liberated. So yes, the moment of death
offers a huge opportunity.
The act of having the ground of liberation pointed out to
you makes a powerful impression on your alaya. So even if you
are not liberated at the moment of death, when you hear words
like ‘buddha nature’ in your next life, or ‘tathagatagarbha’, ‘basic
goodness of a human being’ and ‘ground of liberation’, they will
sound familiar or feel like déjà vu – both of which are signs that
you may be a good vessel for Mahasandhi practice.
Right now, your buddha nature is wrapped in the cocoon of your
physical body, the labels and names you assign to all phenomena,
the distinctions you make, and your habits, culture, values and
emotions. The entire purpose and aim of the Buddha’s Dharma
is to liberate and free us from this cocoon. But in order to fully
understand this liberation, we first need to know about the ground
of liberation.
What Is the ‘Ground of Liberation’?
It’s a bit like this. Imagine you are sitting on a sofa in a very small
living room. Suddenly, all you want to do is dance, so you move
the sofa into the dining room. You can move the sofa because,
no matter how heavy and bulky it is, the sofa is movable, and the
space you move it into is inherently available.
To put it another way, the ground of liberation – also known as
the ‘ground of awakening’ – is something like a state of awakened
dreaming. When we have a nightmare, however terrifying the
experience, nothing actually happens because the moment we
wake up the nightmare dissolves without trace. The fact that
nothing happens is the ‘ground of liberation’, ‘buddha nature’. So
if there are no spiders in your bed before you get into it, as you go
sleep, while you sleep and when you wake up, however large and
hairy the spiders in your nightmare, there is and never was a spider
in your bed. In other words, you are not your dream. No one
experiences dreams constantly, just occasionally, and because you
are not your dream you can wake up – if you were your dream,
you would never be able to wake up.
It is the ‘ground of liberation’ that makes it possible for us
to wake up from the sleep-like illusion of this life. For a dying
Buddhist, knowing that we are all given the opportunity to
awaken into the ground of liberation when we die is extremely
encouraging. It reminds us that the moment of death is our big
chance to wake up and be liberated.
But of course, all these examples and arguments are based on
specific Buddhist concepts. I have often wondered if someone
who is not Buddhist and therefore has no understanding of the
Buddhist jargon used to describe these methods, would be able to
take advantage of the opportunity death offers. Death may only
be an opportunity when looked at from a Buddhist perspective.
Cut All Worldly Entanglements
The great Buddhist yogis of the past, like Milarepa, used to long
with all their hearts to die in a solitary place and entirely alone.
No-one to ask me if I’m sick,
No-one to mourn me when I die:
To die here alone in this hermitage
Is everything a yogi could wish for.
May men not know of my death,
And birds not see my rotting corpse.
If I am able to die in this mountain retreat,
The wish of this lowly one will be fulfilled.
As a Buddhist practitioner, even though you know only too
well that death is imminent and inescapable, it is very likely that
your diary will always be full of business meetings and social
events. Whatever your beliefs, there will always be a summer
holiday to plan, or a family Christmas, or a Thanksgiving dinner
or a birthday party. But, as I have already mentioned, there is no
guarantee that any of your plans will actually come to fruition.
Hanging on to the belief that everything will work out for the best
only stokes the fires of disappointment – remember this, it’s an
important point. Most of humanity’s most serious problems arise
from blind hope and unreasonable assumption.
As death draws near, try to give up your worldly concerns. Stop
worrying about your family. Stop making plans. Stop thinking
about what you haven’t managed to accomplish and all the
appointments in your diary.
If you are brave and courageous and if your situation allows
you to make choices, it is usually best not to tell your wider
circle of friends and acquaintances that you are about to die. It
is especially important for spiritual people to distance themselves
from unnecessary worldly concerns that may cause worry and
anxiety at the moment of death. Tantrikas should, of course, tell
their guru and close spiritual friends who may be able to offer
spiritual help and support during the dying process and beyond.
But try to withdraw from your worldly friends and family. NonBuddhist
children, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers are
unlikely to appreciate the spiritual aspect of your death and their
grief and sorrow could easily distract and worry you.
The Buddhist teachings recommend that as death draws near,
we should follow the example of a wounded deer and retire to
a solitary place. However, in today’s mundane world, it is very
unlikely that we will be able to choose to die alone. Imagine the
media-driven public outrage, the conspiracy theories and the
lawsuits that would follow the discovery of a decomposing corpse,
weeks after death! For most of us, complete solitude at death will
be impossible. But what we can control is who knows about our
imminent death and who doesn’t.
Confess
Bring to mind every one of your shameful, selfish, negative
thoughts and actions and confess them all. If you are a Tantrika,
also bring to mind and confess all your broken samayas, vows
and commitments. If you can, make your confession face-to-face,
either to a lama or to a Dharma brother or sister. If neither is
possible, make your confession mentally. Then take refuge and
renew your bodhisattva vows. Ideally, Tantrikas should ask a
vajra brother or sister who follows the same guru to witness their
reaffirmation of the bodhisattva and Vajrayana vows.
Remind Yourself About What Is About to Happen
Start reminding yourself about what happens during the ‘painful
bardo of dying’. The stages of dissolution are described on page .
Remind yourself that these stages could happen all at once, one
after another, or in a different order, depending on your unique
situation. So it’s vital that you familiarize yourself with all the
details before you die. If you know that you will die very soon –
for example, if you have just been diagnosed with a fast-moving
terminal disease – you should immediately reacquaint yourself
with these teachings so that at death you know what is going on.
Take Refuge and Generate Bodhichitta
For Buddhists, the simplest answer to the question, “how should I
prepare for death” is to take refuge and arouse bodhichitta.
The foundation of your preparation for death is to take refuge,
which will introduce you to much of what you need to know and
do. By arousing bodhichitta and ‘thinking big’, you will find the
courage and determination to continue working towards your goal
of enlightening all sentient beings, including yourself, come what
may. Your willingness to die and be reborn billions of times to
continue helping suffering beings will put death into perspective.
When you are then faced with your own death, instead of being a
huge obstacle, it will be little more than a minor setback.
As you get closer and closer to death, think about and
contemplate bodhichitta as often as possible. Initially, it may
feel fake, but only because you don’t believe you are capable of
arousing genuine bodhichitta. In this frame of mind, it’s easy to
feel disappointed in yourself – to feel like a fraud. Stop thinking
like that! All you need in order to generate bodhichitta is the desire
to make others happy, and you have that desire. You are generous
and you are kind. You have made other people happy many times
throughout your life, and making others happy has made you
happy. Remember it all, because it proves that you have the ability
and capacity to want to make all sentient beings happy. Trust that
ability. Arouse and develop that wish to help.
There will, of course, be times when you long to drive your
BMW down a German autobahn one last time. Or, catching sight
of a much-loved suitcase, you may long to visit India before you
die. Or wish you could live long enough to see your pretty, chubby
niece or lanky nephew get married. At such times, it is important
to contemplate absolute bodhichitta.
Absolute Bodhichitta
It will be difficult to think about absolute bodhichitta while you
are dying and at the moment of death, so think about it while you
are still alive.
Think:
Life is a projection, life is a mirage;
Death is a projection, death is an illusion;
Birth is a projection, birth is a dream;
This very existence is a projection, this existence is a dream.
Even the taste of coffee is a projection, even coffee is an illusion.
Remind yourself of the illusory nature of samsara, however
contrived or fake it feels – ideas often feel fake until you get used
to them. Faking it is the best preparation for the moment of death.
And at death, you really will have to summon up all your courage.
Remembering that life is as illusory as a dream will help make
life and death seem little more than a nightmare. Life and death are
illusions, but that does not mean they do not exist. Coffee tastes of
coffee, not orange juice; gold is gold, not brass. To accept that life
and death are illusions is to acknowledge that everything we see and
feel is a human projection. Coffee is not coffee to a beetle; orange
juice is not orange juice to a camel; gold holds no value for a dog.
Some projections seem valuable while others appear worthless and
you must distinguish between the two based on values you learn
through human projections. When, finally, you truly wake up to
enlightenment, you will realize that everything you have experienced
throughout trillions of lifetimes was just a dream; it’s like pouring
cold water into boiling water. This kind of contemplation helps.
Focus on Your Spiritual Practice
If you are lucky enough to know that you will almost certainly
die within a year, or a month, or a week, then of course you
must concentrate on your own practice. Focus on the easiest
practices because as you are about to die, you won’t have time
to learn a new philosophy or get used to a new technique, or
anything like that. For you, the most important practice, which
also happens to be the easiest and most compatible with all
beings, is to surrender to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha by
taking refuge and, if you are a Mahayana practitioner, arousing
bodhichitta. Engage wholeheartedly in these practices and say
prayers of aspiration.
If you happen to be a Tantrika, offer your body in Kusali
practice while you are still alive. This is an especially good
practice because Kusali is similar to the practice of transferring
the consciousness at the moment of death (phowa).
• An English translation of the short Longchen Nyingtik Ngöndro Kusali
practice can be found in the Longchen Nyingtik Ngöndro text, which is
available for download from: www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/
dodrupchen-I/longchen-nyingtik: “ . The Accumulation of the Kusulu: Chö”.
• The longer version, The Loud Laugh of the Dakini, translated by Karen
Liljenberg, is available for download from: www.zangthal.co.uk/files/
Chod% . .pdf.
Distribute Your Worldly Goods
Practically speaking, once you know that your own death is
imminent and certain, try to ensure that your property and
belongings are put to good use. Offer whatever you own to
sentient beings and towards the propagation of the Dharma, even
things as small as needles and thread. By offering everything to
the Dharma, you become fearless. It is also good to make offerings
to charities, hospitals, schools, and so on.
Get Used to the Idea that Death Is Imminent
Even if you are fit and healthy enough to beat Michael Phelps in
the m butterfly, it is never too early to start preparing for death.
As you fall asleep, try doing the sleep practice mentioned on
page . Convince yourself that you will die during the night and
yearn to be reborn instantly in the realm of Amitabha. When
you wake up next morning, remember that all of phenomenal
existence is temporary.
If you dream, remember that dreaming is a bardo.
Originally, this chapter was written specifically for Buddhists,
but actually everyone can practise these methods: seasoned
Buddhists, those who have just discovered the Buddha’s teachings,
agnostics, atheists, those who care for the dying. Everyone.
